Which To Bury Us Or The Hatchet?
by scarletbanner
Summary: Imagine Camelot as a school, Merlin as a hopeless young biology teacher, Arthur as the arrogant Geography teacher who thinks that just because he's the son of the headmaster he knows everything, Morgana as a fierce but lonely history teacher who encourages her pupils to end debates with wrestling, and the sassy art teacher Gwen who is just full of adorbs - and is through with love.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello! You should know before you read this that I'm being hopelessly unfaithful to my other fic, Fate Unwoven. I am not proud of this, but hopefully having a fresh start with a completely different fic will help me get back on track. Iricious if you're reading this I'm really sorry I haven't updated in so long and will get back soon!  
**

**So anyway, this fic is going to be...strange. Mainly because I cast all of the Camelot crew as teachers. Imagine Camelot as a school, imagine Merlin as a hopeless young biology teacher still trying to pay off his student loans from med school, Arthur as the arrogant Geography teacher who thinks that just because his subject covers a lot of areas, and he's the son of the headmaster he knows everything about everything, Morgana as a fierce but conflicted history teacher who lives with her pregnant sister after storming out of her foster father's place and encourages her students to end their debates with wrestling – and Gwen as the sassy art teacher who does not want the hassle of being dated by the prat of a headmaster's son. Throw in Uther as the cold headmaster who cannot stand change or progression, Gaius as the astute but absent minded Deputy Head and Head of Science who has a two year old date on his whiteboard, and some villainesses in the shape of RS and English teachers Nimueh and Morgause – et voila!**

**Hopefully this fic will be entertaining – it's multi ship, so expect to see a lot of my headcanons coming through. Merlin and Morgana obviously will be the main ship though, because they are just so perfect. I will take suggestions from readers if they want – I am thinking about adding some drunken Merthur moments. At some points this fic will be sad – Morgana certainly doesn't have it easy. Please review – I really want to know what you all think! **

Morgana groaned and opened her eyes blearily. She shut them again, fast. Her room was a disaster zone. There were clothes strewn all over the floor and her shoes were hanging from her curtain rail. She didn't know where her duvet was, which would explain why she was so cold. What had actually happened last night? She vaguely remembered dancing. A beam of sunlight stole through the chink in her blinds and she groaned, burrowing her head in to her knees. She _**knew**_there had been vodka. She looked to the right. Willing herself to look at her alarm clock, she saw to her relief that it read 6:00. That gave her half an hour before she actually had to get up. She looked to the left – shrieked and fell out of bed. There was a man sleeping on her sofa, USING HER DUVET and snoring gently. Good looking in a rough, manly sort of way but definitely not her type. She struggled to remember who he was. Morgana wasn't in the habit of picking up strange men – at least, it didn't happen too often. Grabbing volume III of War and Peace, she proceeded to whack the stranger around the head with it. The stranger groaned. Good, at least he was alive.

"Wake – up – you – oaf!" She hissed, punctuating each word with a _thwack_. It was only a paperback, but it was enough to cause the man to open one eye and snarl,

"What the bloody Hell are you playing at? It's 6:00 in the bloody morning." Ah. Now she remembered – Will Valiant. Swimming coach. Morgana ignored the pounding in her head as she whispered,

"You've got to get out of here – now! If my sister finds you in here she will rip you limb from limb, and I'll be in masses of trouble. If her boyfriend's round she'll set him on you. And trust me, you don't want to mess with Ken." At the mention of Ken Redd, action film star and stuntman, Valiant beat a hasty retreat. Morgana barely gave him a minute to get dressed before shoving him towards the door. He turned towards her for a kiss but she managed to duck her head and push him in to the corridor before slamming the door shut. No one stole her duvet and got away with it, unless they were Gwen. The loud noise made her wince and she groaned, staggering to the kitchen to put the kettle on. If ever there was a time she needed coffee... on her way she glanced in to the mirror and shuddered. Her carefully applied green and black make up of the night before had smudged in to two bruise-like circles around her eyes and her hair looked like it hadn't been brushed since the middle ages. A voice came from behind her,

"Sister, are you going to use the shower first or can I?" Morgana smiled to herself and turned around, giving her big half-but-practically-whole-sister a hug. It was more of a struggle every day, as Morgause was around six months pregnant and looked like she had swallowed a beach ball.

"I'll go first, you take ages now," Morgause took one look at Morgana's face and let out a strangled cry.

"Morgana, what happened to you?" She narrowed her eyes. "That reminds me, how late did you stay out last night? And exactly how much did you drink?" Morgana stayed silent, noting that the kettle had boiled. "Well?

"Sorry sister; won't happen again. Morgause sighed, steered Morgana to the bathroom and got out her eye make-up remover. Dabbing at the bruise like patches around Morgana's eyes she continued the lecture.

"Morgana you are twenty two now. You are an intelligent adult, with a good job and a bright future. I can't control what you do, or how much you drink, but I can be the bossy older sister and say not in my flat! And certainly not on a school night!" Morgana and Morgause both worked at Camelot High, Morgana as a History teacher and Morgause as Head of English. School began again that day after the summer break, and the disapproving look in Morgause's eye was largely due to nerves. She hadn't told any one about her pregnancy, and after six weeks of absence she was showing a lot more than she had been before they broke up. Ken was rich, and her leaving wasn't a problem, but Uther Pendragon, the headmaster wasn't generous when it came to maternity leave. To be honest, he wasn't good around pregnancy – ever since his wife, Ygraine had died in childbirth. Morgana put a comforting hand on her sister's shoulder.

"It'll be fine. At least you don't have to explain your situation now that you're so – well, fat." Morgause swiped at her baby sister playfully,

"Brat. Now make some coffee. I want a shower." She pushed Morgana out of the door and locked it. Morgana banged half-heartedly on the door.

"Save some hot water for me!" She turned and made for the kitchen. Where she found Ken, shirtless, making fried eggs.

"For God's sake put a top on!" She blushed, averting her gaze. Ken was a complete – prat. Arrogant, a bully – the whole package. She didn't see what Morgause saw in him. Sometimes she wondered whether they would actually be together if Morgause hadn't found out she was having a baby in December – but then she saw the soppy gaze the two always gave each other and her doubts were – unfortunately – dismissed. Now he turned to Morgana, giving her a full blast of his action hero/devilish lopsided grin.

"Sorry sweetheart. Your sister isn't complaining, and I have a right to do as I like in _our _home." Bastard. Always did his best to make her feel unwelcome.

"Don't you have a camera to toss your hair at or something?" she sneered.

"Watch it, princess. Or I might just let your nightime exploits slip to Morgause. What time did you get that man out of your room, eh? Morgana blushed an even deeper red and Ken smirked, knowing that he had struck home. "You're lucky Morgause is a heavy sleeper now that she's pregnant. You were loud enough. How many shots had you taken?"

"Leave me alone." Ken winked, handed a plate of eggs and sausages (vegetarian – both sisters refused to eat meat) to her and went back to his bedroom. She made a face at him behind his back, and put the kettle back on. Bastard.

Merlin hopped off of the bus and got out his Donegal A-Z. Geography wise, he wasn't actually that far away from his own hometown – Armargh. But he was in a different country, and the pangs of homesickness struck at him somewhere in his stomach. He had spent the last few days on trains and buses, and now he walked across the busy streets of Donegal, a large and excruciatingly heavy rucksack on his back. But as his feet trod the paving stones, he could not help but feel excited at the prospect of moving to a new town – meeting new people. He had his MD, but had decided that he would rather share his knowledge with the future generation than work in a hospital. At least that's what he had told his mum. Hunith was gutted that she wouldn't be able to tell all her friends that her son was a doctor. Oh well. Merlin was lucky to get his job at Camelot High, a reputable comprehensive in Donegal as biology teacher – times were hard and he was sure that if it were not for the recommendation of his mother's friend and deputy head Gaius he would be living in his mother's house hunting for a job. His mother, panicking at the thought of having to support her fully-grown son, wrote a letter to Gaius asking him to find her boy a job. And Gaius had obliged. After a terrifying interview with Uther Pendragon – which began awkwardly – stammering over why he wanted to teach biology, and how he would contribute to the school community. But he had impressed the icy headmaster with his MD, and had even managed to gain some interest from Mr Pendragon after telling him about his interest in wildlife photography, and how he planned to set up a magazine in the school. And of course, Gaius had come in and helped him out when he had stumbled. Nice guy. Before he knew it, Uther Pendragon was shaking his hand and welcoming him on board to Camelot High. A summer, two train journeys and a bus ride and he had arrived at Gaius's house last night. Where – he hadn't found anyone. All night. Gaius didn't look like a guy who would stay up all night partying. The one time Gaius came to Armargh he had given Merlin a long and complicated lecture on anatomy. Great and all – but he had been six at the time. Although come to think of it, Gaius was probably a hippie in his day. Something about the hair... Merlin shuddered. He had been able to get in to the house using the key Gaius had mailed him, and had slept on the couch. And now he had taken the bus to the outskirts of Donegal and was, apparently, on his way to Camelot High. If he could just find it on the...

Suddenly Merlin raised his eyes and his jaw dropped open. In front of him was a beautiful medieval building, reaching up in to the sky. Pupils in the red jumpers and grey skirts and trousers chattered happily as they walked through the looming arches, and Merlin was pretty sure he could see what used to be a drawbridge. It was archaic, you could almost see the knights standing on the turrets, the beautiful princess looking out of the window. Like the stories his mother used to tell him. Whilst his friends would always get the traditional tales of the wicked witch, the terrible dragon and the brave knights who slayed them, Hunith would always tell Merlin that there were no truly evil people in the world. Just different storytellers. In her stories, the witch was brave and true to herself, the princess didn't wait for someone to save her but climbed out of the tower and in to the woods. The stupid knights didn't even know what had hit them. In her stories the King and Queen were not great because of how they were born, but struggled to become who they were, and achieved greatness by learning from their mistakes. And because of this their kingdom prospered. Of course, you could always count on the dragon to be epic. Burning down houses, swooping in from the mountains with his scales glittering with the reflection of the fire, the gold crown of the king. But he served the good and the right, even if sometimes he got it a bit wrong. Merlin couldn't believe it when he watched his first Disney film. It just felt...so shallow. His mother had laughed and said he was born trying to work out a great philosophical problem, and that she knew from the moment he was born he would some day be a great thinker. Merlin didn't know about that...he was startled out of his reverie by the honking of a car horn, and he realized he was standing in the middle of the school car park, and there was an incredibly large land cruiser heading towards him. His blue eyes widened as he instinctively shielded his face...but the car screeched to a halt and the incredibly beautiful blonde driver proceeded to call him every rude name under the sun without actually swearing – after all, there were innocent little year 7s to corrupt. Unfortunately her darker haired, even more gorgeous companion didn't seem to care about corrupting year 7s. The air turned blue. Merlin gulped. He recognised the blonde as the assistant head from his interview – although come to think of it, she had looked a lot less pregnant then. Apologising frantically, Merlin practically ran in to the school. He stopped a burly sixth former and asked him,

"Hi sorry, do you know where the staff room is?"

Morgause parked the car, still muttering under her breath about stupid students who apparently thought they could just daydream their way through life. Morgana thought she was being a little dramatic. He had looked quite sweet – his ears were adorable. He was a sixth former she was guessing – had to be, he certainly looked too old to be a year 11. Undoing her seatbelt, her half sister gripped her wrist.

"What are the rules, Morgana?" rolling her eyes, Morgana recited,

"No swearing in front of my form, no encouraging my sixth formers to decide the debates by wrestling...umm," she struggled to come up with the third.

"No annoying your foster father Morgana! I dislike the man as much as you do, but you have to respect him as our headmaster. Plus, he is not going to be happy when I tell him...well, let's just say I'll be lucky to have a job to come back to, let alone get a decent maternity leave. Do you promise?'

"I promise," Morgana sighed. She heard a rap on the door and turned around to see a friendly face underneath paint splattered overalls and a Big Bang Theory hat.

"Morgana! Oh, hi Ms Lefay." Morgause nodded distantly, and Morgana shrieked and tumbled out of the car, closing the door behind her.

"Gwen! I swear to God that is the last time I go to The Tavern. And I swear even more that this is the last time you set me up with one of your friends." Gwen laughed, her eyes crinkling up.

"Relax, all that happened was you sniffed his neck and let him crash on your couch. Oh and you may have kissed. Like once. But I doubt he was sober enough to remember any of it." Morgana sighed in relief.

"So, we're both year seven form tutors this year. That will be...interesting."

"Tell me about it. Poor little sods." The two women laughed and caught up as they wandered down the corridor and in to the staffroom. They opened the door and Uther Pendragon was standing, his snake like lips pressed in to a thin line and his cold grey eyes scrutinizing the young women. His mouth opened and Morgana instinctively recognised Uther's lecture mode activating. Standing awkwardly behind him was the supposed sixth former who she now realized was a teacher, probably older than her. And she had sweared at him profusely. And they would have to interact. On a daily basis.

The perfect beginning to a new term.


	2. Chapter 2

**Yay reviews! There is no greater joy...except possibly actually writing the stories. I'll come back to you on that one.**

**Much like the first episode of Merlin, this chapter is really about establishing characters rather than plot – so it might be a bit boring. Things will kick off next chapter – probably.**

**Spot the Harry Potter reference! It's quite obvious.**

**Please review! I love you all.**

Merlin gave the dark haired women an awkward wave, which was tricky considering that his heart had stopped beating. She was – beautiful. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen – if he was being poetic then her eyes were the shade of ferns and pines, her hair dark ebony. She wore a dark red sweater dress with tall tan boots and glasses with large black frames. And leather gloves. Seriously? Who wore leather gloves? He wasn't good around women, especially stunningly gorgeous ones who had just taught him four new swear words. In her defence she had gone a tomato-shade of red and was trying to hide behind her shorter, also fabulously beautiful friend with a Sheldon Cooper hat reading _"I am immune to your sarcasm." _Uther gave the two friends a cold stare.

" Miss Jones and _Miss Lefay, _you are late for this meeting."

"Ten minutes. Sue us." The dark haired one, who seemed to be called Ms Lefay, was regarding the headmaster with an even colder gaze than the one he was giving her. Frankly he couldn't see how she could stand up to that guy – the mere sound of his voice made Merlin shake at the knees and want to throw up his shreddies. Mr Pendragon spoke, his voice reminding Merlin of when he and Will had put the remote control in the blender.

"Ten minutes is time that could have been spent reacquainting yourself with the timetable and getting to know our new staff. Laziness, tardiness and a complete lack of regard for your fellow staff are not why our school was judged as Outstanding last year by Ofsted. Kindly remember that, Morg-Miss Lefay, before you answer me back again." Turning his back to address another teacher, he missed Miss Lefay sticking her tongue out at him behind his back. As Mr Pendragon had painstakingly explained to him before, teachers should remain professional at all times. Which meant no laughing at other teachers. Oh shit. Uther had remembered him. Hide behind another teacher! Hide behind another teacher! Nope, wasn't working, Uther was walking towards him. Oh God he was opening his mouth!

"Staff I would like to introduce a new teacher to our school. After the unfortunate departure of Mr Ector last year, I am delighted to give you our new biology teacher, Marlin Emrys."

"Merlin Ambrose." Merlin muttered under his breath. Mr Pendragon appeared not to notice.

"Please make Mr Emrys feel welcome at our school. He is not only a newcomer to Camelot High, but a newcomer to Ireland." This was reaching even greater shades of awkward. Which he felt was being reflected on his ears. Damn his ears! He just knew that that snarky Miss Lefay was laughing at them. However, Uther Pendragon in his own awkward little way had just done his introduction for him. Now eager staff members were surging towards him, just waiting to shake his hand. Oh joy.

"So, Emrys. Cool name." A man with the thickest and longest brown hair he had ever seen swaggered towards him. "Mine's Gwaine. It's a pleasure to meet you," he performed a dramatic bow. Merlin grinned, relieved he had found someone crazy enough for his standards after his freakishly robotic chat with the headmaster."

"Drama queen. And it's Merlin by the way. Merlin Ambrose."

"I feel for you my friend. My first year Uther called me Ga-waine. Sounded like a cross between Garfield and a footballer. Which of course would be epic but you know, so not my style." Gwaine then gave his hair a flick. God the man was practically Cheryl-freaking-Cole!

"Oh, and the drama thing figures. Seeing as I'm the drop-dead gorgeous, talented and sexy drama teacher at this school. This guy here," he said, pulling over a man who seemed to be more muscle than human, "is my boyfriend, Percy. Call him Percival and he'll hit you. He spends his life torturing little children." Merlin laughed,

"Guessing you're the P.E. teacher then!" Percy smiled and they shook hands. Merlin got the feeling that he was the strong, silent type." Gwaine continued,

"So there's us, the greatest people you will ever meet. Then there's Elyan, another P.E. teacher with the most adorable little sister in the world – look, you can see her, the one in the Big Bang Theory hat with blue paint all up her arms. Then Leon De Vert, head of Geography. He's all right, but woe betide you if you say a bad word against the Lake District. He's not above calling you in at lunchtime and giving you the longest lecture EVER on why the Lake District is better than California and Barbados all rolled in to one. You'd think he was being funny, but he's deadly serious about it – ah, there's the man I'm talking about! Leon, get over here you!" A man taller than the tower of Babel and dressed in a suit so crisp and clean you could eat your dinner off of it approached, his hair in a sort of curly cloud around his face.

"Marlin, how do you do." Merlin gritted his teeth. It appeared that this was going to haunt him all day.

"Hi, um – it's Merlin actually. Merlin Ambrose." Leon nodded and the corners of his mouth turned upwards in what appeared to be his version of a friendly smile. It was the scariest thing Merlin had ever seen. Interrupting his train of thought, the bell rang out, crisp, clean and piercing. Kind of like Uther Pendragon. Gwaine grinned,

"Well, I have sixth formers to bestow pastoral love and affection upon. See you around, Merlin. Cool name, by the way." Merlin shrugged.

"My mum likes wizards. And birds. A fatal combination." The three men laughed, and Percival clapped Merlin on the shoulder. Merlin nearly collapsed under the weight of the man who he had already decided to christen as The Hulk. He spoke for the first time,

"You're alright, Ambrose. See you at lunch then! Where are you off to?"

"Year 7 formtime. Should be fun!"

"Alright class, settle down and welcome to Hell. Or as the dear Headmaster calls it, Year 7. Rule one, no chewing gum, so spit it out right now, second from the left in the fourth row! Rule two, you are permitted to answer back at me, but I can't tell you what you might get back in response. And rule three, any and all disputes will be decided by wrestling. I am open to all shapes and forms, but under no circumstances will I allow kicking. It shows weakness and immaturity. Any questions?" Morgana surveyed her stunned year 7s, smiling to herself. Her first day as a form tutor, and she thought they were doing OK. Hopefully there would be some who liked history. Her memories of form time in her all-girls' boarding school in England were not exactly pleasant. It was just one big orgy of catty girls bitching about each other and gossiping about the boys at the rival school. And their form tutor, a P.E. teacher had hated her. Literally. She had overheard her talking about her to another teacher, saying that...well, it didn't matter. Even her boarding school was better than the house of Uther Pendragon and her prat of a foster-brother Arthur Pendragon. As soon as she turned eighteen she had gone as fast as she could to Dublin to study at Trinity, and had moved in with Morgause. This job was supposed to be her reconciling with Uther, trying to put the past behind them. Fat chance. She had avoided him all of last year. Morgana was surprised he had even given her a job as a form tutor this year – but as he had, she was determined to do her best. "Right, I'm going to take your register, and I want you to say 'Here miss', and a fun fact about you. Then we'll go down for a year 7 assembly, where you can see the other three forms and meet your head of year, Miss Ueh. Let's go – Mari,"

"Here miss, and I love monkeys." It went on in this fashion, with Morgana secretly noting down all of their names, interests and drawing weird doodles to go with their names – until Morgana called out,

"Mordred?" No answer. She looked up. "Is Mordred here today?" A voice piped up,

"This is Mordred, sitting next to me." It was a girl talking, with long curly brown hair and bright eyes. She was indicating to a boy next to her, a boy with such hauntingly sad blue eyes that Morgana suddenly felt the urge to run up and give him a hug. Instead she asked, in a tone unusually gentle for her,

"Mordred, please could you answer me?" the girl spoke again,

"He doesn't speak to many, miss. Only really to me, and then I speak for the both of us. I'm Kara miss, Kara Williams." Morgana smiled,

"Well, Kara, you don't seem to be on my register." The girl looked guilty.

"Not exactly, it's just that...well, I was in Mr Pendragon's form – not the headmaster but the other one, his son, and I just knew we wouldn't get on. And I thought you and I might. Besides, Mordred needs me to look after him. Oh please miss, might I stay?" Morgana resisted the urge to laugh.

"God knows you talk enough for two people, but I'm afraid that if you are in Mr Pendragon's form, there's not much I can do. But you can come by if Art- if Mr Pendragon lets you." Kara shot a pleading glance at her, but Morgana held firm, despite a secret wish to have this girl to spar with in her class. Furrowing he brow, the girl got up, tossed her curly hair, picked up her school bag and flounced out of the classroom. She turned back and smirked,

"Bet I would have beaten all the boys in the wrestling though," and with that she was gone. Morgana raised an eyebrow. An interesting start to the morning. She turned to Mordred.

"I'm sorry that you don't feel able to talk to me Mordred. Never mind, we can use written communication until you feel ready." She said to him gently. He nodded, and gave her a small smile. Someone from the back of the class said in a stage whisper,

"Freak." Morgana whipped her head around so fast that she cricked her neck.

"Who was that?" Spying the smirking boy at the back she yelled,

"You there, stand up!" The boy stood, his face bright red with shame. "I will not condone bullying in this classroom. This is your first day and it would be a shame for you – ah, Stanley Redgrave – to start off on the wrong foot. Now apologise to Mordred –at once!" Mumbling a brief apology, the boy sat down, and Mordred's smile increased. Morgana smiled back at him. She thought – hoped –that she might be able to be a friend to this boy.

"Now, Elizabeth?"

"Lizzie, please, and I love Justin Bieber." Oh God.

"Alright class, time to line up! Alphabetical order please." Merlin yelled hopelessly at his class. Year 7, all they did was talk and eye each other up. They'd been here one day and already they knew who their best friends were. Still he liked the look of one of them, Daegal. Sweet boy, although he had already confiscated his phone after he texted his little sister during his "I know Secondary School looks scary but..." talk. He hadn't actually had a chance to look at the Year 7 form tutors list, but he knew there would be three other teachers to share the load with. Perhaps the guy they called Elyan would be a form tutor – or – Merlin's thought train suddenly got disrupted by a door. In his face. A particularly loathsome child in his class, Malcom, sniggered, muttering to his friends about how he felt sorry for the door. Trying to regain his composure and failing, he opened the door in to the drama studio, where the Year 7s would have their assemblies. His class were the last in, and all eyes swiveled to look at them.

The head of year, Miss Ueh was one scary looking woman. Her eyes were a bright blue and her braided hair gave the impression of it being wet. She wore some sort of red tunic thing and blue headscarf – and she was giving Merlin the evil eye. Clearly one was not late to Miss Ueh's assemblies.

"Well, now Mr Emrys's form have finally decided to join us, we may begin our assembly. Teachers, you may go out. What I say does not really concern you." Merlin stared at her in amazement. How was it that every word was dipped in about three coats of menace and acidity? Perhaps it was something about this school. If you stayed here long enough your voice could make armies shake at the knees. Nodding to Miss Ueh, he and the other three teachers left the studio, waiting outside in the courtyard. As Merlin glanced at his colleagues, he felt a sinking feeling in his gut. Oh no. Miss Lefay. Her, the adorable little sister of Elyan Jones, and some blonde guy who the female teachers were giving the evil eye. Merlin didn't see why – he looked alright. A sixth former walked by, evidently late for class.

"Ah, Morris, how are you doing?" The blonde teacher smirked. Ms Lefay muttered under her breath,

"Arthur just leave it would you." Morris crept over to them.

"Good, t-t-thank you Mr Pendragon."

"Now Morris, where is your homework?" Morris looked terrified, his eyes flickering beseechingly from the blonde teacher to the others.

"I'm s-s-s-sorry M-m-m-Mr Pendragon, but my mother said that she told you..."

"Your mother? Morris, you got your mother to make excuses for you? Now, I'll ask you again, where is your Geography homework?"  
"But I was ill, Mr Pendragon, honest. I haven't had time- "

"Oh you haven't had time. Oh then I'm sorry, it must be _my _fault then. I'm s-s-so s-s-s-sorry, M-m-m-m-Morris. Tell you what, how about next time you set the h-h-h-h-homework." The blonde teacher drawled, cruelly mimicking the boy's stammer. Morris looked close to tears, and Merlin felt something akin to disgust for this teacher. He spoke up.

"My friend, I think you've had your fun. Morris, go along to class. We've delayed you for long enough as it is." The man turned around and gave him an incredulous look. Morris ran for the hills.

"Excuse me? Do I know you?

"Merlin Ambrose, the new bio-"

"So I don't know you. Yet you called me friend." Merlin ground his teeth.

"Clearly that was my mistake. I would never have a friend who could be such a prick." Ms Lefay laughed out loud, and more importantly to the blonde guy, Ms Jones was stifling a giggle.

"Oh come on Jones, you can't really...this guy, I mean – "

"How many times have I asked you to call me Guinevere. Get lost." Arthur swaggered over to Merlin, a menacing glint in his eye.

"Think that was funny, do you? Well let me tell you, _Merlin, _there aren't many who would have the nerve to talk to me in that fashion. I could have you fired just like that." He snapped his fingers. Merlin raised an eyebrow, although he was beginning to notice exactly how big this man's muscles were.

"Who do you think you are? The headmaster?" Now Arthur was right in his face, and Merlin wrinkled his nose at the smell of aftershave.

"No, I'm his son." With that he grabbed Merlin by the lapels and pulled him up close so that they were nose-to-nose, Merlin grimacing with pain. To his surprise, Ms Jones spoke up.

"For God's sake Arthur, let him go. You're twenty-four, not fourteen. Get off him this second!"

"Go on Arthur, you might be the headmaster's son but we can still kick your arse if you try and take us on." That last one came from Ms Lefay. Merlin was beginning to get the impression that she didn't do things by halves. Arthur looked up, suddenly in earnest.

"Tell you what Jones, I'll let him go if you go out with me. I swear I'll never lay another finger on him if you let me take you to one movie." Ms Jones's voice was cold and her warm brown eyes were empty as she said,

"You are the last man on earth I would ever want to go out with. Fuck off Arthur." Stunned, Arthur Pendragon released Merlin, who fell back on to the grass, and walked off. Ms Jones let out a shaky breath and smiled down at Merlin. As he looked at the blue paint on her arms he saw that it wasn't just splotches from the art department – it was beautifully painted in to clouds and stars and dragons. Ms Jones extended a blue hand, which Merlin gratefully took.

"Hi, sorry about Arthur. I mean he's a bit of a prat but, he's really not that bad – well at least when he's not trying to ask me out." She gave a little nervous laugh, which Merlin returned. He thought perhaps Ms Lefay was rolling her eyes in the background. "Oh, I'm Gwen by the way. Gwen Jones, art teacher."

"Really? I never would have guessed. I'm Merlin by the way, Merlin Ambrose. Not Marlin, as Uther may have told you..."

"Don't feel insulted. He still calls me Guinevere – only my mother calls me that! He doesn't even say it...oh God, I'm rambling, I'm sorry. You don't want to listen to this..." Merlin smiled inwardly.

"No please, it's reassuring to know that not every teacher is going to beat me up."

"Well, that's Arthur. He can smell weakness a mile off – not that I'm implying you're weak or anything, it's just that, well, you don't look – oh I'm not saying you don't look great because you do, I mean – oh..." Gwen had turned beetroot red and Merlin thought he had never been so confused in his life. Luckily they were interrupted by Miss Ueh's steely tone.

"Ms Jones, could you come inside? A girl in your form – Sefa Myles, has just thrown up."

"Oh God. Coming." Looking more than a little relieved, Gwen fled in to the drama studio.

Merlin sat down on the step, and put his head in his hands. He looked more than a little defeated. Morgana hadn't been going to do this, but oh well...

"My name's Morgana. I teach history. Morgana Lefay. We –er, met earlier." She came and sat on the step with him, and Merlin gave her a tired smile.

"Nice to be properly introduced." They sat in silence for a while. Morgana wished she had alcohol with her. Introductions were so much better over drink.

"I remember my sister talking about you, after you were appointed. You're a doctor, aren't you? What made you decide to become a teacher?" A muffled sound came from beneath Merlin's hands.

"God knows. I'm probably going to get fired anyway; I don't know why I didn't just accept that job at the hospital. Why didn't I? It was secure, well paid, why on earth would I choose to come to this place? I can't get anything right – every time I've met you today I've done something to make me look like an idiot – nearly getting run over by your sister, walking in to a door and then I get bullied by that arse of a geography teacher, and..." Morgana cut his ramblings short.

"You haven't looked like an idiot. I should be the one apologizing – I was wrong to lose my temper with you earlier. I've been trying to hide from you all morning. And Arthur's bark is worse than his bite. I should know – I lived with him for eight years. Uther is my foster father." Merlin looked up and smiled, genuinely. She hadn't planned on telling him that, but she couldn't bear to see him so upset. And he was bound to find out anyway. "I've been dealing with the Pendragons for eleven years of my life now. And if I can survive it, you can." Merlin snorted.

"You must have found it easy enough. Look at you, the posh girl. You're wearing gloves, for chrissakes. Who even does that?"

"Easy? You think it was easy – I don't know why I'm doing this, but here." She took off her gloves to reveal the same mottled blue paint that was on Gwen's. Hers was writing rather than words, but entwined and patterned in such a way that it was beautiful. It was a language he didn't recognize – not at first. But the words began to reveal themselves to him.

"The Darkness to your Light, the hatred to your love, these are bonds we share and are bonds that must be broken, for the light cannot seem so bright without the darkness of the night." He looked up at her in awe. "That's beautiful."

"It's Gwen and I – we're trying to recreate wode. It's an ancient druid war paint, and I've been able to research in to it and dig up some artifacts whilst Gwen can look in to the shades of paint, although neither of us have been able to get it quite right yet. The language is Old English, with some Old German. I've always been able to understand it for some reason – just never knew why." Merlin's hand brushed hers, and with a gasp Morgana looked in to his deep blue eyes. They were like sapphires, like the sky on a summer night. She felt a bolt of electricity run through her, a connection that she had never felt before. Merlin whispered,

"You know, I could help you. I mean, I might be able to locate herbs for you – after all, the druids believed in the natural world. As I'm sure you know, wode was more than warpaint – it was their way of channeling their beliefs – and the elements themselves in to their warriors." Morgana smiled. She had never met a man who understood so well – who could speak like that to her. She slipped her hand in to his, unaware that already he could not look away from the green of her eyes; that unconsciously both of them were leaning in. Morgana murmured,

"I'd like that."

"Miss Lefay, Mr Ambrose? Assembly is over." Startled, both of them sprung away. Ducking her head, Morgana put her gloves back on and hurried back in. Merlin stood for a moment, in a complete daze. Just like that, he a goner.


	3. Chapter 3

**Helllooooo **

**This chapter will be fluffy – but a little forewarning of what is to come. Thanks to my incredible reviewers- particularly the lovely TimelordinCamelot, Fenrir1329 and DawnRuthless. **

**Morgana/Merlin centric chapter, but the next chapter will see more of the delightful and adorable young Mordred, and of the terrifying Miss Nymphadora (or Nym) Ueh.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin or any of the characters. Or Sherlock for that matter.**

**Please review!**

"_Are you with me, Morgana?" A blonde woman in dazzlingly bright chainmail looked at her intently, gouging her reaction. For a moment she considered going back, sneaking in to bed and forgetting the woman. But what would she be going back to? A life of secrets and lies? Of watching her people burn at the stake and pretending to applaud her guardian's actions?_

"_Yes."_

_Her throat was closing up, her breaths becoming shorter and shorter. She put her hand to her throat, knowing in her heart what it was, no matter how much she wanted to disbelieve, to pretend. She looked up at him, challenging him to look at her, a look of desperation in her eyes. He turned, his face contorted with sobbing as he nodded. She thought her heart would crack in two as she cried out in pain, her body slowly and torturously shutting down. It was as if someone was carving at her insides. But it was more than that. He had stuck a knife in to her soul and was twisting. She thought he loved her for who she was – thought that he cared about her. Fool that she was, she had thought that he had thought her beautiful. She was a monster, and who could love a monster? He reached out for her and she fought him off, terrified he would hurt her further. But he merely sought to hold her as she died. Died. She was dying, and she would die in her lover's arms and in her murderers arms. She couldn't breathe, she couldn't breathe…"_

"No!" Morgana screamed, sitting up in her bed. She still couldn't breathe, gasping and screaming in turn. She couldn't, she couldn't…"Help me! Help me please! Arthur, Arthur where are you? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I didn't understand…Morgause! Sister please," Morgause ran in, a calm voice masking her panic.

"Morgana? Morgana shh, hey, it's OK." For a moment all Morgana saw was the blonde woman in chainmail from her dream and she screamed louder, fighting her away. "Morgana, wake up. It's just a dream, just a silly nightmare. It's alright, sweetie, I'm here." Her screams subsided in to broken sobs, and Morgause pulled her in to a fierce embrace. "I am here, I will never let anyone hurt you, I promise." Morgana's shoulders shook as Morgause rubbed circles on her back. Morgana's dreams had started after her parents' death, devastating dreams of violence and murder. But she was past that now, and most nights she managed to keep the dreams away. She hadn't had one like this in years. "Morgana I am going to call Dr Aglain in the morning. Do you want me to sleep in here tonight?" Morgana shook her head, brushing away the tears.

"I'm sorry, sister. Oh God –" she started to cry weakly, and Morgause continued to hold her. Morgana could feel the baby kicking against her as she hugged her sister, and the presence of her little niece or nephew calmed her down. She laid back on the pillows and felt her eyes close of their own accord.

"Sorry to wake you up." Morgause smiled.

"Not at all. Ken's in Cape Town, the only person you have to disturb is me. In fact I was glad – I hadn't felt the baby kick for a while, and –" Morgause stopped as she saw her baby sister asleep once more. She sighed. It killed her that Morgana had been at boarding school for all those years, dealing with this on her own. If it was going to come back, she was going to be with her all of the way. Morgause bit her lip, remembering what Ken had mentioned earlier. Despite her imposing, calm exterior, there was one thing that stressed Morgause out – chaos. She liked everything to be calm and under control, and an unplanned pregnancy at twenty nine had not really been part of the equation. Perhaps Ken was right, perhaps...as she thought this she looked down at the sleeping girl and immediately felt ashamed for thinking such disloyal thoughts. Morgana was her sister. No matter what, she came first.

Morgana curled up on the sofa, a copy of _The Winter King _on her lap, and Sherlock on the TV. Morgause had brought her duvet down and had fixed her breakfast, telling her that if she needed anything she only had to text her. Morgana didn't think she could love anyone like she loved her big sister – except perhaps on some very _very _deep down level her dear foster brother. Her best days at boarding school had been when Morgause had come down from Oxford where she had been studying and taken her out to lunch. They would talk about their parents and how Morgana was doing at school – and Morgause would anxiously probe about her nightmares. And then during the particularly awful period where Morgana had started to black out during lessons, Morgause had taken her on holiday to Italy for a year - against Uther's wishes, and Morgana had felt free for the first time in years. Oh Doctor Aglain had given her drugs, and Gaius had given her herbal remedies (that had helped far more than anything Doctor Aglain gave her) but it was not until Morgause took her away that it had left her. And for years she had been doing fine. So it terrified her that the nightmares might be coming back. Because this time they might really turn her mad. Suddenly she heard a knock at the door. She jumped. Creeping forward, Morgana opened the door and saw...Merlin.

"Hey Morgana," he grinned that irresistible grin of his, and despite herself she smiled.

"So, Emrys, ditching classes? Setting a good example for your ickle Year 7s?" Merlin poked her.

"I've got a free period, then lunch, then a year 7 Geography trip. And I thought you might be hungry." He held up some soya burgers, a bag of frozen chips and a bottle of coke.

"I. Love. You." Morgana stated, her eyes lighting up at the thought of actual food rather than just crisps. Merlin blushed.

"Now, we both know that's just the flu talking. Is that the Reichenbach Falls I see?"

Not long after, Merlin and Morgana were curled up on the sofa together, watching Sherlock talk to Molly in the lab. Merlin spoke,

"See, I reckon this is how he did it." Morgana rolled her eyes.

"What, through Molly? No shit genius."

"No, I mean – if you put a squash ball under your arm, it reduces your pulse. That's how he fooled everyone." Morgana looked at him.

"That is going in my big book of Sherlock theories." Merlin thought she was joking. Then she got out an imitation River Song notebook and jotted it down."

"And I didn't think I could love you any more." Now it was Morgana's turn to blush, and she gave him a small smile, resting her head on his chest. He put his arm around her shoulder, unable to believe his luck. Just a friend, just a friend, he thought to himself. He continued, "It's bad luck to get flu this early. Although, you don't seem to have a temperature. Which is good – I mean..." Morgana cut him off.

"It's not flu. Morgause just told Uther that so that he wouldn't worry, or try and take me back to his house." Merlin raised an eyebrow.

"So what's wrong? You don't have to talk about it but – you don't look well. Is it serious?" Morgana looked down, her emerald eyes suddenly dull.

"As a teenager I suffered from terrible nightmares. Doctor Aglain said it was PTSD." At Merlin's questioning glance she elaborated. "Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. After... anyway it doesn't matter. There was one rough bit and then when I was sixteen they went away. Last night they returned. Morgause worries about me too much because before when it got really bad she wasn't there –I was at boarding school." She drew in a shaky breath and burrowed her face further in to Merlin's shirt. Merlin sat there, stunned, just letting her cry in to his shirt. Finally, he murmured,

"I'll go and warm up those burgers, shall I?" Morgana nodded and smiled a watery smile, wiping her eyes with her thumb. The only person she had told before was Gwen, who had cried with her and they had watched a Lost marathon together. Arthur had gone to the boys boarding school opposite hers so he had always awkwardly tried to support her. It was the only reason she put up with him now, because as much as she hated to admit it, things might have taken a turn for the worse had Arthur not stuck up for her at school, and helped her catch up on homework after sleepless nights. Which didn't change the fact that he was a complete prick that slept with every beautiful woman in Donegal – and judging by Helen Mora's facebook status last night, every beautiful teacher in the school. But it made her put up with him. She glanced at the TV, and Moriarty was holding a gun to his head.

"Merlin! He's going to jump – don't you dare miss this bit." Merlin hurtled in to the room, skidded ten feet across and landed smack on Morgause's CD collection. Morgana giggled. "Someone's keen to see Sherlock jump – going to test out your theory?" Merlin poked her, groaning and rubbing his head.

"Is it a crime to appreciate one of the most beautiful moments in BBC drama history? The burgers will be about half an hour. Now shhhh."

Half an hour later, Merlin and Morgana were lathering ketchup on their burgers and chips, having an earnest debate on vegetarianism.

"It's completely unethical to eat animals when we don't need to! We're omnivores, we've evolved so that we have a choice, and can choose not to eat meat, just as we can now fall in love rather than choose mates purely on terms of reproduction rather than sexual attraction."

"This debate got on to sexual attraction pretty quickly," Merlin joked. Morgana's mouth fell open, and Merlin used the opportunity to push a chip in to her mouth. Whilst she was chewing he continued, "You know, it's been a week and I still haven't seen Gaius. Where is he?" Morgana swallowed and answered,

"Who knows. He and Uther make arrangements, I stay out of it. He's an old family friend, so I guess Uther would have told me if anything had happened. Perhaps you should ask Mr Kilgarrah."

"Mr Kilgarrah? Who's he?"

"The librarian ." Merlin's brow creased.

"I thought Geoff Monmouth was the librarian."

"The school's ancient, there's the main school library, which Geoff runs, and then there's the medieval library with old English texts beneath the school. I go down there quite a bit. Mr Kilgarrah hates me, but he puts up with me because I'm godmother to his granddaughter, Aithusa."

"Sounds scary." Morgana turned to look at him, giving him her best "I come with grave warning" face.

"Mr Kilgarrah? Oh Merlin. Poor, naïve, Merlin. You have no idea."


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello loyal readers, sorry it's been a while! When I started writing this chapter Broadchurch had only just started. That's terrible. I hope you enjoy this one!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin**

Morgana sat at her desk, frantically marking the Year 12 Nazi Germany essays. She was one of those people who could sit at their computer all afternoon trying to catch up on Broadchurch and then realise she had eighty AS essays to mark at 11:00. When luckily, she had finished the series and had been wiping the tears from her eyes, texting Gwen about how Olivia Colman deserved a BAFTA. She had marked sixty. Only ten to go in about forty five minutes. The dark circles around Morgana's eyes had grown scarily large, and she was deathly pale. Insomnia. All Morgana knew was that she was tired and grumpy and fed up of marking illiterate essays.

"Abigail Ryan, if I see you use their instead of there one more time..." Suddenly she heard the door open and close and looked up, expecting to see Merlin with the biscuits he had promised her at break. Instead there was a boy, his hood pulled up far over his eyes breathing heavily. Morgana frowned.

"Hello? Have you forgotten how to knock...?" She trailed off as she saw the boy was Mordred, and that his blue eyes were filled with tears, that he was making a vain attempt to wipe away with his sleeve. Morgana got up, Abigail Ryan forgotten.

"Hi, Mordred. Are you alright?" Mordred only looked at her beseechingly. It had been nearly a month, and still he had not said a word. She knelt in front of him, and gasped. His eye was swollen, something that would later be the size of a mulberry, and his arms were dotted with bruises, both old and new. He was bleeding badly from his upper arm, a cut that looked deep and painful. Wordlessly, Morgana got out a first aid kit from under her desk and began dabbing at his cut with antiseptic gently. Finally she found her tongue and asked, "Mordred, who did this to you?" He shook his head, staring at the floor as tears came faster. Morgana wiped them away with her thumb, pulling the boy in to a hug, which he received gratefully. She taught Mordred for history as well as being his form tutor, and so far had found him to be a hardworking, pleasant young lad – but he had never opened his mouth, not once. It meant that despite Morgana shouting at them, the nasties of her form had been quick to brand him a freak, and the boy had few friends. She tried again, "Mordred, if someone is bullying you, you need to let me know. You don't have to defend them; you can trust me." Mordred's eyes widened and he shook his head vehemently, and Morgana decided to let it drop. "I'm going to put a bandage on your war wound, and then get some ice from the office to put on your eye, OK?" Mordred smiled, and to Morgana's shock whispered,

"Thank you Miss Lefay." Her grin nearly split the sides of her face.

"That would be my pleasure Mordred."

"I'll bloody kill them I will miss, oh just you let me get my hands on them and they'll regret the day they were born they will."

"Language, Kara," Morgana murmured, although she did not reprimand. As Kara had predicted, the older woman and the eleven year old had become fast friends, and Kara had bested everyone in history, both with her debate and with her wrestling. "Who do they think they are? Beating up my cousin – when he en't never hurt so much as a butterfly since the day he was born. Come on miss, give me their names." Morgana frowned.

"Kara, why would anyone want to hurt Mordred? I don't know who the bullies are but I need Mordred to trust me enough to tell me."

"Prejudice, miss." Kara shrugged. "We're Travellers, and that's enough for people to start hating on us. Saying horrible stuff. Just because we don't live like other people, they think they can treat us like dirt." Morgana nodded. She had encountered this sort of thing before, but never as a teacher.

"Would he tell you? Who the bullies are?"

"He'd better – else I'll be having something to say to him too."

"No, we mustn't lose Mordred's trust. I'll speak to the headmaster about it, and Miss Ueh." Kara snorted.

"Mr Pendragon senior? Everyone knows that he's a tyrant, a brute. And his son's not much better." Morgana gave a small smile, well aware of her foster brother's fiery relationship with Kara Williams.

"You'd best be off, Kara. I have formtime soon. Come again tomorrow, and in the meantime I'll send a letter off to Mordred's parents." Kara turned around, surprised.

"Mordred en't got parents, didn't you know? They died in a car crash, that's why he won't speak. He lives with his grandfather." Morgana felt a pang of empathy, remembering how lonely she had felt after her parents' death. Kara gave a half smile.

"They were alright, Uncle Mordred's parents. Used to take us to the park." And with that she was gone, leaving Morgana to her thoughts.

In the classroom on the other side of the corridor, Merlin was blissfully eating a large pack of jammie dodgers. He'd tried to take them to Morgana but you know; she was busy, what could he do? Other than tuck in to the jammy morsels of goodness. Morgana teased him incessantly about his fixation, even going so far as to give him a fez, calling him The Raggedy Doctor. Which you know, wasn't such a bad nickname. Better than her other one, _Emrys._ His eyes softened when he thought of Morgana. The way she'd nestle in to him when they watched Doctor Who together and the way her hair smelt. The way her nose wrinkled and her eyes sparkled when she laughed, and the way she'd let out a contented sigh when they hugged. _Just a friend, just a friend,_ he chanted to himself. It had become a sort of mantra for him. Perhaps if he chanted it for long enough he would be able to see other women in a romantic light again. Like the school counsellor, Freya. She was a lovely woman, with gorgeous brown eyes and a warm smile. Very shy; very quiet. The total opposite of Morgana. But every time he thought of chocolate brown eyes his thoughts immediately turned to Morgana's emerald green. Merlin moaned, putting his head in to his hands. What was wrong with him?

Suddenly he heard the door of his classroom slam shut, and he looked up, brandishing a jammie dodger.

"Put the biscuit down, Merlin, you look ridiculous." Oh God. The Once and Future prat. Merlin watched in bewilderment as Arthur dropped to the floor and proceeded to army crawl over to his desk.

"What the heck is going on here? Arthur, this is my form room, not a gym." Arthur looked up, his baby blue eyes beseeching him.

"Look Merlin, did I ever tell you what an exceedingly handsome and intelligent man you are? Because I was wondering..." Merlin turned beetroot red.

"Um Arthur, whilst I'm flattered and everything, you've hated me since day one, and I'm really don't... you know, I don't...as a rule – look I don't fancy you, alright?" Merlin blurted out. Arthur's face turned from pleading to completely grossed out in about five seconds.

"Merlin! Jesus – look, I have just had – possibly the worst break up in human history. Helen – Miss Mora, is chasing after me and I do not know what she will do when she catches me but she was threatening to rip my balls off and stuff them down my throat."

"You can hide in the supply closet, clotpole." Arthur gave a huge sigh of relief and shut himself in to the nearest cupboard. Seconds later, the incredibly beautiful Helen Mora burst in to the classroom, her cheeks red with rage and her breath short from running.

"Mr – Emrys, is it? Have you seen Mr Pendragon?" Merlin gave an apologetic smile.

"No sorry, is it important?" Helen gnashed her teeth in fury.

"That – bastard – thinks he can run away from this relationship." She regarded Merlin with suspicion. "Are you sure you haven't seen him, Mr – um, Emerson?"

"Ambrose." Merlin muttered under his breath. Then dazzling her with a cheeky smile, he chirped,

"Nope, no Pendragons here. God, he's so fat I think we'd be able to notice if he was here or not, don't you?" Appeased, Miss Mora gave him a cold glance and swept from the room. As she left Morgana and Gwen entered, confused as to why Miss Mora had appeared so far from her classroom. However, all this was forgotten as Morgana laid eyes on the packet on Merlin's desk."  
"You...scumbag Emrys, you ate all of them without us!" She narrowed her eyes and began to stalk towards him. "You are going to regret this." Merlin backed away, genuine fear in his eyes.

"No please, Morgana, it doesn't have to be like this – we can find another way." With a Machiavellian laugh, she rugby tackled him to the floor and knelt on his chest.

"There is no other way," she purred, and with that proceeded to tickle him mercilessly, going for the places she knew made him squirm." Merlin shrieked like a five year old girl, writhing on the floor and begging Morgana to stop.

"Please Morgana, please..." suddenly they were interrupted by a dry voice from behind them.

"Well that doesn't look or sound sexual." Merlin froze; ready to die from embarrassment. Morgana simply found a more comfortable position on his chest, folded her arms and glared at her foster brother.

"What are you doing here Arthur. Haven't you got hearts to break?" He grimaced, immediately regretting not just stealing out of the classroom. Anything rather than talk to his bratty little foster sister.

"Trust me, it wasn't a social call." An indignant sound escaped Merlin's lips.

"And to think I offered my supply closet to you." Gwen's eyes widened.

"Arthur, what were you doing in Merlin's supply closet?" Arthur turned pale at the sight of Gwen.

"Oh erm, nothing much...just hanging around." Gwen narrowed her eyes and turned to Merlin.

"Merlin, what was he doing in your supply closet." Merlin opened his mouth to tell the story to Gwen and Morgana when Arthur's big wet puppy eyes caught his attention. Of course. There was no way Arthur was going to let Gwen know about Miss Mora, not when he was still desperately chasing after her. Merlin suddenly felt a pang of sympathy for Arthur. It was hard to love someone knowing that they would never love you in return, at least, not more than just a friend...

"Arthur was hiding from Leon. He was threatening to give him one of his Lake District lectures." Arthur visibly relaxed and Morgana and Gwen looked at each other and giggled. They were having a running competition to see who could insult the Lake District in the most inventive ways possible in front of Leon. It was going hilariously so far, although Gwen kept softening at the sight of Leon's face crumpling at the abuse of his favourite geographical location. Finally Morgana spoke up.

"There's a boy in my form, Mordred. Do you know him?"

"The kid's a genius at biology. It's just a shame he won't contribute more." Merlin put in, thoughtfully. "I don't know if he's too shy to talk, or if he just can't."

"He came in to my class today, with a black eye, a nasty graze and bruises dotted all over his arms. He was crying – and he wouldn't tell me who had done it. He spoke though, for a few seconds, which I guess is something, but we need to get SLT involved, and Miss Ueh."

"You know father won't allow for that," Arthur interrupted. "He doesn't want teachers to get involved. You know his theory: That it makes men of them."

"What? That's ridiculous!" Merlin exclaimed. "Boys being beaten with in an inch of their lives makes men of them?"

"It worked for me," Arthur said quietly, and Merlin fell silent. Gwen finally spoke up.

"Couldn't Ms Lefay help, Morgana? She's senior enough to make Uther to see sense." Before Gwen had finished her sentence, Morgana was shaking her head.

"We aren't getting my sister involved in this. She's got enough on her plate at the moment with Uther – plus she's not feeling too great. Perhaps Miss Ueh would help?" Merlin widened his eyes at her.

"Well I'm not talking to her. She _hates _me. Her lip curls every time I pass her in the corridor." Just as the four were mulling over what to do, a figure burst in through the door, and Morgana and Gwen immediately got up from where they had been sitting and flung themselves at him.

"Well, that was an interesting excursion. Hello Morgana, Gwen, my dears. Come here, I have so much to tell you of – Merlin my boy! What are you doing here so early? You aren't due until September!" Merlin's face cracked in to a wide grin.

"It's October. Hello Uncle Gaius." The figure was short, with long white hair (although remarkably no beard) and a rucksack the size of a desk on his back. His eyes twinkled with good humour, and he had the air of someone perpetually forgetting what they were supposed to be doing.

"October already. My how time flies." He made a guilty face, taking off his rather impressive cork hat. "I hope you've made yourself at home back at the place, it's rather messy but I'll clean it up one of these days. I suppose I had better speak to Uther now, apologise for my late coming and all that. Normally he's all right with it." Gaius was cut off as the bell rang out in to the classroom, and he clapped his hands together. "Right, now off to your forms girls, Arthur. Merlin, come with me. I need to show you the most incredible breed of anemone I found whilst out on the plains of..." Gaius continued to talk as he left the classroom and Merlin pulled a disbelieving face at Gwen and Morgana. Unbeknownst to him, Gwen gave Morgana a look, and she nodded.

"Right, come on Arthur, Uther wanted to see us both about that thing." Arthur's bewilderment was etched on his face as Morgana, tiny against his tall persona, dragged him out of the room and in to the corridor.

Confused, Merlin turned to Gwen, who gave a nervous laugh. Merlin liked Gwen; she was like the sister he had always wanted when he was younger. Someone who he could just – talk to, without feeling like he had just been hit by a motorbike because she had laughed at one of his jokes. When she spoke, her words came out in a tumble, all on top of each other.

"So, um Merlin, there's this really good club down the road that Morgana and I go to sometimes, and I was thinking – because you haven't been yet – we should go together – that is, only if you want to, because – well obviously, I just meant that," Merlin interrupted her.

"I'd love to Gwen – it sounds perfect." She beamed at him, her warm brown eyes meeting his. Her smile dropped slightly when Merlin continued,

"Only I think we should invite Arthur this time – I mean, whilst there is the danger he and Morgana will kill each other, I think his general prattishness might stem partly from awkwardness." Gwen looked down, trying to hide her disappointment.

"Oh, OK then, sure. That sounds great. See you then, Merlin. With that, Gwen positively fled in to the corridor, her face tomato red. Baffled, Merlin gathered up his books and left the classroom, remembering that he had left his lesson plan in the photocopying room. As he was climbing down the many winding, cobblestone steps that lead to the photocopier, Merlin ground to a halt, frowning. There, clutching the stair rail like a life support in front of him, was Morgause Lefay. Carefully, he approached her.

"Ms Lefay, are you alright?" Turning around sharply and wincing, Morgause eyed him up and down.

"Perfectly, Mr Ambrose. I just have a bit of a headache, that's –" Morgause broke off as she moaned in pain, clutching her forehead. Merlin ran to her, his instincts as a doctor kicking in.

"How long have these headaches been going on for?" Morgause looked up indignantly.

"Excuse me? That's none of your conc –ahhh." She moaned again, and Merlin said again, more urgently.

"Ms Lefay, please, how long have these headaches been going on for? I'm a doctor, I know what I'm doing."

"Nearly a week now," she whispered. "They've never been as bad as this though."

"Have you experienced any swelling – any dizziness or stomach pains?" Morgause nodded, still untrusting.

"Yes, but I'm pregnant. It happens, Merlin." She hadn't really warmed to Merlin, although he had been over to her flat quite a few times now. Something about the way he kept looking at her sister...Merlin masked his panic under a layer of calm as he put first his hand to her forehead and then two fingers to her wrist.

"Morgause, when was the last time you felt the baby move?" For the first time he saw fear flicker in her eyes as she murmured,

"Yesterday, but not at all last night. Merlin, what do you think...?" She gasped in pain. "It's like fireworks going off." Almost in slow motion, she crumpled and slumped against the wall, Merlin catching her only just in time.

**Dun dun dun! Please tell me what you think in the reviews **


	5. Chapter 5

Merlin dialled 999 on his mobile phone as calmly as he could, struggling under Morgause's weight. It was as if the emotional, panicky part of him had gone in to shut down, thinking only of getting the woman in his arms to safety. The voice on the other end spoke,

"Emergency. Which service?"

"Ambulance, please." After a brief pause he was put forward to a woman's voice on the other end.

"Hello this is St John's ambulance, please state your emergency."

"Pregnant woman, late twenties just passed out. Suspected toxaemia. Her blood pressure's going through the roof and she has been complaining of headaches, and seeing stars."

"How far along is she?"

"I would say about thirty three weeks. She didn't feel the child move all of last night or today." There was a brief pause.

"Right, sit tight. Where are you now?"

"Camelot High School, Donegal. We're both teachers here. My name is Merlin Ambrose."

"Help is on its way Mr Emrys." Merlin cursed as he put down the phone. Why – Emrys, every time! It was as if Morgana had placed some sort of curse on him. Oh shit. Morgana. Scrolling over to contacts, he pressed call. It rang for a while before Morgana hissed at him over the phone,

"Merlin! I'm in formtime – this had better be good." If Merlin had any spare hands they would be wringing.

"OK Morgana can you go out of your classroom for a second? It's fine, don't panic, just go outside." He heard her breath hitch.

"Ok," she said, uncertainly. "Oi 7LEF! Doctor Who or Sherlock?" Merlin had to hold his ear away from the phone as mayhem broke loose on the other end, waiting for it to die down as Morgana closed the door. "What is it Merlin? Are you OK?" Deep breaths, Merlin, deep breaths. "Alright Morgana, you have to promise you're not going to panic. Everything is going to be fine."

"Ok I could have promised that a few minutes ago, now I'm less sure. What's wrong?"

"Morgause collapsed on the stairs. I'm not sure yet but I think she might be toxaemic. I've rung for an ambulance." Silence. "Morgana? Morgana! I need you to come down to me, I'm on the stairs leading to the photocopier room. Morgana!"

"I'm here, I'm coming. Oh God." The dial tone rang in his ears as he put his phone back in his pocket and checked Morgause's blood pressure once more. Still scarily high. Not five minutes later, he heard the click of Morgana's heels against the rough, uneven steps. Her eyes were filled with fear as she ran down to Morgause and took her face in her hands.

"Sister? Sister wake up!" She looked up at Merlin. "What's wrong with her? Will she be OK? Will the baby be OK?" He looked back in to her emerald green eyes, glistening with unshed tears she was desperately trying to blink back.

"If I'm right she has Pre-Eclampsia."

"What?" Morgana looked at him in horror. "Doesn't that lead to Eclampsia? Is she going to die?" Merlin was quick to reassure her.

"No! No – Pre Eclampsia almost never leads to Eclampsia any more – she probably just needs to get looked over in hospital. The baby should be fine – if a bit small, they might have to deliver him or her early. How far along is your sister?"

"Thirty three weeks," Morgana breathed. "And Ken's not here, he's in South Africa." Merlin squeezed her hand.

"Morgana, breathe. She's going to be fine, don't worry." Morgana looked up in to his eyes, those powerful, sensual cobalt blue eyes with so much purpose in them right now.

"Ok." She whispered.

Merlin sat, slumped on a sofa in the waiting room. After texting Gaius to say where he was, he had got in to the ambulance with Morgana and a still unconscious Morgause. The adrenaline that had kicked in when Morgause had collapsed had faded, and he was struggling to keep his eyes open. But there was no way he was letting Morgana deal with this alone. He looked up as Morgana came out of the room, shutting the door quietly behind her. Merlin immediately went up to her and wrapped his arms around her. She rested her head against his shoulder, unable to cry, only to grip him tighter. In a flat voice, she half whispered,

"They delivered the baby. She was tiny, Merlin. Just over four pounds. They had to rush her over to SCBU, and Morgause…" She gasped slightly and Merlin held her tighter. "She's fine, but she's losing a lot of blood. They're going to have to keep her and baby in here for weeks, maybe even a month." Morgana teetered slightly on her legs and Merlin steered her to a seat in the waiting room by her elbows, running and fetching her a cup of coffee. It had been a long day, and Morgana looked dead on her feet. He brought the hot cup over steadily, and placed it in her hands.

"Drink." He ordered, sitting down next to her on the sofa. She sipped obediently, leaning against his shoulder. Eventually she nestled further in to Merlin, bringing her legs up so she was curled up against him. He didn't say anything, only stroked her hair and let her cocoon herself in his shirt. In a muffled voice she murmured,

"You were fantastic, Merlin. I mean it, really wonderful." He shrugged, embarrassed at the unusual praise from her.

"Oh, you know, normal student doctor stuff. You learn to look out for toxaemia when you're supervising pre-natal check ups and writing up diagnoses." Anxious to change the subject, he asked,

"Does the baby have a name yet?" Morgana gave him a look.

"My sister is on oxygen Merlin. She hasn't really had time to consider baby names." Silence, as Merlin shuffled his feet. Stupid, idiotic question. Morgana's face softened.

"We did talk about it though. We hadn't quite decided – I think it was between Rose and Elizabeth." Merlin smiled.

"Elizabeth Rose, that's a pretty name." Morgana blinked back tears as she thought of her inhumanly tiny niece struggling to breathe with bits of wire sticking out of her.

"It is. A very pretty name." Another pause as Morgana sipped her coffee, not caring as it burnt her tongue.

"Do you want to see her?" Merlin's face lit up.

"Of course, that is – if you don't mind."

"Oh shut up Merlin, if it wasn't for you she wouldn't even be here." Slipping her hand in to his, she pulled him off of his chair and lead him through the hospital corridors to the Special Care Babies Unit. After negotiating with a particularly unfriendly nurse, who initially refused to let anyone in who wasn't a parent, Morgana brought him up to an incubator on the left.

"A couple of hours ago there were doctors and nurses crowded around her. But she's healthy, Merlin. Just a bit small." Lying there asleep was a tiny little thing, tubes sticking out of her. She moved a little in her sleep, and Morgana allowed her to take her little finger in a tiny fist and hold it there. Merlin held Morgana's hand tighter, marvelling at how someone as vibrant and chaotic as Morgana could be so gentle. After ten minutes, the nurse with a face puckered like a prune came up and curtly informed them that unless one of them was a parent they would have to leave.

"Bitch," Morgana muttered after they were out of earshot of the baby. Merlin laughed, and Morgana chuckled with him. Merlin's heart pounded as he realised that she still hadn't let go of his hand. She seemed to realise the same thing, and opened her mouth to speak when,

"Ms Lefay?" Morgana turned to the approaching nurse.

"Yes? What it is it?"

"You can see your sister now – she's still waking up after all the drugs and oxygen, but you can talk to her."

"Sister!" Morgana ran over to the woman lying on the bed, holding her carefully, as if she might shatter in to a million pieces. Morgause smiled weakly. She was lying curled up on her side, her face pale and drawn with the events of the day.

"Don't worry, Morgana. I am quite well. Just a little tired." Morgana knelt by her bedside and the two sisters hugged as if they would never let go. Merlin scratched his arm as he stood awkwardly in the corner. He felt like an intruder – especially as Morgause had made it clear that she didn't think much of him. But almost as if she could sense his thoughts, Morgause looked at him softly.

"I don't think I can thank you enough, Merlin. According to the doctors, if they had left her in there much longer she might have…anyway, I owe a great deal to you, Merlin. Thank you." Merlin shuffled, his face turning a bright tomato red.

"Oh, you really don't have to – I only did what anyone would do." Morgause reached for his hand and squeezed it, her eyes expressing her gratitude. Then dropping his hand, she looked up at Morgana.

"Morgana I want you to go and stay with Uther until I come home." Morgana began to splutter. "I mean it, Morgana. I'm not having you staying in that house alone if your nightmares are going to come back." Morgana furrowed her brow.

"How about Gwen comes and stays with me for a while? Please don't make me go back there, sister. You don't know what it was like." Morgause's eyes began to close.

"I'm not going to argue with you now, sister. But Gwen is welcome to come and stay…" Morgause drifted off in to sleep. Morgana kissed her cheek and left the room silently, beckoning for Merlin to follow.

Merlin stepped outside in to the corridor, where Morgana was waiting for him. He gazed at her, wondering how anyone could be that beautiful after twenty four hours with no sleep. She was looking back at him, with a look in her eyes that he hadn't seen before – or at least, hadn't seen when she knew he was looking. He laughed nervously.

"I don't know about you but I'm dead beat." Morgana gave him a mysterious look,

and before he could comprehend what was happening she was pulling him in to a hospital supply cupboard.

"What are we doing Morgana?" His voice was growing higher in pitch as he caught her scent, felt the top of her head brush his cheek, her hand on his chest. Morgana simply wrapped her arms around his neck and closed the gap between their lips.

**Hello! Oh look, I've got better at updating. Thank you very much wonderful reviewers, I don't know what I'd do without you! So massive thanks to TimelordinCamelot, Fenrir 1329, Duchess Emma, Renaissancebooklover and grayember13. **

**Anyway, I hope I've left you wanting more! (Reviews make me work faster, hint hint.)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello! I have to post this chapter now because I swear to God I have been trying to revise French and Spanish for the past three days and haven't been able to until I got this chapter out. Sigh. Now I have to revise.**

**Thank you to my amazing reviewers! **

Merlin seemed to have lost the power of coherent thought. Morgana was kissing him. Morgana was kissing…and suddenly he was kissing her back, pressing her hard against the door of the cupboard and running his hands down her waist. She moaned at the contact between them, a tiny contented moan that made him shiver and tightened her hold around his neck. He tore his lips away from hers and gasped, struggling to comprehend what he was doing. She gave a growl of displeasure and began to kiss down his jawline, tracing lines up to his earlobe and all the way down to his collarbone. He managed to gasp,

"Morgana, I think before um – engaging in anything – we should take some time to consider the philosophy behind voluntary consent. Which, of course, is…"

"Philosophy A level Merlin." Morgana said between kisses. He nodded agitatedly,

"Right, um – because the balance between voluntary consent being insufficient and personal autonomy is a fine one, as it is debatable what counts as outside influences affecting the subject-ah," he broke off in to a moan as Morgana found a particularly sensitive spot between his neck and collarbone and began to suck and nibble. She ceased in annoyance, grabbing on to his arm.

"Philosophy A level Merlin. Get to the point, I have a feeling I'm not going to like it." Merlin's eyes met hers, and he took her hand, stroking it.

"Morgana, you know what I mean. If I were to have sex with you in the full knowledge that what you are doing is radically out of character, and that I have reason to believe that once you have returned to their normal state of mind you will come to regret your actions, I am effectively taking advantage of your vulnerability, and in my book, that isn't informed consent." He said calmly. Morgana narrowed her eyes, folding her arms.

"And what of my personal autonomy? What if I were to see your interference and arrogant desire to protect poor little 'vulnerable' me from my own decisions as violating my right to make my own choices? I take it from your use of language that you have no objection to sleeping with me," she said icily, her eyebrow raised. If he was going to start spouting Kant at her, she was going to give as good as she got.

"I'm not trying to…Jesus Morgana if anything I'm trying to protect your personal autonomy, by refusing to take advantage of you when your decisions are under external influence."

"Merlin, that's a paradox and you know it. Let me worry about what's best for me – and keep your bloody philosophical ideas out of it." Merlin's tone changed, taking on a pleading tremor

"Please Morgana – look, you know it's taking every ounce of my self government to say no. But I respect you too much for this – please?" He gave her a flash of his puppy dog eyes. She rolled her own.

"Do you know what you are, Merlin?" She inched closer to him, trailing her fingers up his chest and whispering close to his ear, so he breathed in the intoxicating smell of her hair.

"No?" He whimpered, desperately trying to remember all of the reasons he had just given for not taking her back to his house and making her scream his name. She placed a light kiss on his lips.

"A spoilsport." She said, chuckling darkly. "Now let's go home. I'm tired." She opened the cupboard door, and looking around furtively, darted out. Merlin started out after her and banged his head so hard on the cupboard door that he fell down on to the floor of the hospital corridor, groaning. Stupid Morgana. All her fault. He got up, rubbing his head and she turned around, looking at him. The hospital corridor seemed to stretch out in to eternity, long and such a crisp, bright white that your eyes took a moment to adjust. She seemed like a silhouette, a black outline drawn with a 6H pencil. For a moment she looked at him, as if struggling to comprehend the situation they were in. It only lasted for a moment. She ran up to him and hugged him, rubbing the top of his head where a lump was already forming.

"My poor Merlin," she murmured. He took her hand, holding it tightly in his own and they walked out in to the cold October night, each feeling as if the touch of the other was the only thing keeping them standing.

Morgana curled up to him in the cab. It wasn't sexual; it wasn't her trying to coax him in to her bed. It was comfort; that need for human warmth that consumes us in our darkest hours. They'd started off sitting apart, her staring listlessly out of the window whilst he drummed his fingers against the seat. But their fingers had remained knotted together, his fingers stroking the back of her hand. She had sighed and put her head on his shoulder, going further and resting her head on his chest, wrapping her arms around him and needing to feel warm when the inside of her felt so cold. He put his arms around her, and she put her legs up on the seat, closing her eyes and listening to Merlin's heartbeat. It was rhythmical, consistent. She didn't know what she had been after when she cornered Merlin in the cupboard. If anything, it was to make herself feel. To feel, when it felt as if her heart was being choked by ice. Because Merlin made her burn. Every glance he gave her, every time their hands met she felt herself become consumed by flames. It was like something had hit her in the stomach, hard, and she was struggling to breathe. Fire and Ice. She sounded like a Game of Thrones episode. She laughed, mirthlessly. Merlin turned to look at her.

"What?" She snuggled closer to him.

"Nothing."

The cab pulled up to the flat, and Merlin, ever the gentleman, got out to help Morgana out. She clung to him, unwilling to let go of her fire.

"Stay with me Merlin, please." His face took on a warning look.

"Morgana…" He began, but she cut him off.

"Not like that – you can sleep on my sofa. Just please – I don't think I can face going back by myself. Her eyes sought his and he nodded, paying the driver and letting her lead him up the stairs of her flat. She opened the door, her key scraping in the lock as she let him in. No one had turned the heating on, and it seemed colder inside than out. Morgana turned to Merlin, nibbling her lip.

"Oh God, you haven't eaten yet. All day – and bloody hell, it's one o'clock. You must be starving." Merlin shrugged, but his growling stomach betrayed him. Morgana's lips twitched up in to a smile.

"I'll order some pizza. Cheese and tomato all right with you?" Merlin laughed.

"I haven't trusted meat on pizzas since the horsemeat scandal – cheese and tomato would be lovely." Morgana giggled with him, remembering with satisfaction how she had crowed over her meat-eating friends.

"I'd best make up a bed for you too – the sofa in my room's not too uncomfortable." Dialling the Domino's pizza place number on her mobile, she disappeared in to another room. Merlin looked around. He could see why Morgana didn't want to be here on her own – the building itself was old – early Victorian or Regency probably, and Morgause's flat was spacious; beautifully elegant and chic, but one person could drown in it. Morgana called,

"Ken's left some razors and stuff in the bathroom. You'd better phone Gaius and tell him where you are." Suddenly it hit him that he was going to spend the night in Morgana Lefay's bedroom. That he was going to sleep next to her and somehow stay true to his former convictions whilst a tiny voice in his head begged her not to listen to him and screamed at him to shut up. He ran his hands through his hair, an action that he had performed so many times that day that he looked like he had been electrocuted. Morgana poked her head out, raising an eyebrow.

"Well come on then."

They were lying on her bed, on top of her covers, both too tired to make conversation. Each lost in their own world. Morgana turned to Merlin, searching the depths of his midnight eyes.

"You know Merlin, you keep talking about how I'm just upset about Morgause, and how I'm tired and how you have reason to believe I'll regret it in the morning," Morgana breathed, "But this has been going on far longer than today and you know it." Their faces inched closer, she could feel his breath on her face. He whispered,

"But what then? What do we do?"

"We believe in it." She was so close, he could count her eyelashes, see the flecks of gold in her deep green eyes.

The doorbell rang, harsh and sharp in the moment. Morgana sighed quietly.

"And now we return to what we were." She got up silently and padded towards the door, and Merlin only paused for a minute before following her.

Merlin tossed and turned, trying to get comfortable on the sofa. It wasn't exactly hard, but the springs pressed in to the gaps between his shoulder blades, and in to his spine. Not exactly the way to get a good night's sleep. He glanced over at the clock beside Morgana's bed. 3:00. Three hours sleep. Surely he could manage that – three hours sleep. Merlin's eyes turned towards Morgana, frowning. She was cocooned in her blankets, wrapping them around her head as if they could protect her from her nightmares. It wasn't working. He heard her moaning, writhing in distress as the dreams took hold of her, and she began to murmur in her sleep.

"No, no please don't do it, run, run! Stop it! Astirehe – Haep on baec. Help me! " Merlin got to his feet. He had had no idea, no idea that it was this bad.

"Morgana, wake up." He shook her shoulders, but she would not stir. The dream world had her in its grasp, and was choking her. He tried again.

"Morgana!" Suddenly she sat bolt upright, and screamed at the top of her voice, screaming until her voice ran dry and all she could do was croak, hoarsely. Merlin held her tightly, trying to make her feel him.

"Morgana it's okay, shh, shh just breathe."

"It's returning Merlin! It's returning!"

"Breathe, breathe." She turned to him and gasped,

"No, it's you – get away from me! Why Merlin? I trusted you! I confided in you. I didn't do anything!" Merlin sat there, stunned, as she began to scream again, cowering away from him."

"Please don't hurt me. Please – I'm sorry. I don't know…I don't know." In that moment, her eyes seemed to burn with a golden light, and Merlin couldn't understand what he was seeing. She subsided in to sobs again, and Merlin held her close to him, stroking her hair and whispering words of comfort. He double-checked her eyes. Still green. Still that same, soft green. She held on to him as if he was her rock in a storm. Morgana looked up at him, confused.

"You are him, but you aren't him." Merlin nodded.

"It's all right Morgana. I'm not going to hurt you. I'm your friend, Merlin." She frowned.

"But that's it you see – you're him, you're Emrys – but you're not. But you have the same eyes. And the same ears."

"I'm not Emrys – that's a joke, remember? The nickname that I loathe, and you insist on calling me by anyway." Suddenly her eyes cleared of confusion.

"That's right – because you're Merlin, and the other stuff was a dream. Right?" She was still hyperventilating, and Merlin wiped away her tears with his sleeve, stroking her arms, giving her his warmth.

"That's right, Morgana. It's all right now." She took a deep breath and nodded.

"Right. Good." With a half smile she murmured.

"I'm sorry if I frightened you. I haven't had one that bad since I spent that time off of school in September. Normally I just dream about my parents." He smiled, and kissed the top of her head.

"I'm sorry – I didn't realise how bad you had it." He made to go back to the sofa, but Morgana tugged on his arm.

"Stay with me, please. You make me feel better." Her eyes were pleading with him, and he knew that he couldn't say no even if he wanted to.

"Well come on then, scooch over."

**I hope you enjoyed! I wanted Merlin to be uber awkward – and I thought he was the type to start spouting Kant the minute a pretty woman started kissing him. **

**P.S. Duchess Emma I hope my PM helped! **


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello! I really shouldn't be writing this chapter, and it is a bit of a filler, but here it is anyway!**

Morgana's eyes scoured the crowd emerging from the airport, checking her watch to see if this was indeed the 00:45 flight from Johannesburg. All the planes from Cape Town had been booked, but rather than wait a week to see Morgause and his daughter, Ken had driven all the way to Johannesburg airport and taken the next flight out. Morgana sighed in relief as she caught sight of Ken, bags under his eyes and a striking tan, hurrying towards her with his many suitcases, half of which she was sure contained his special brand moisturiser. She waved at him, physically gasping with the relief of having someone to share her worry with. When he reached her she saw the unfamiliar crease of anxiety nestled comfortably in his brow; saw how his hair was rumpled and unkempt, he had run his fingers through it so many times.

"Is Morgause all right? Is the baby all right – I couldn't hear you at all on the phone the reception was so bloody awful. When will she come home?" She interrupted him, unwilling to see him so desperate.

"Morgause is fine, she's on a lot of drugs and she'll only be another two weeks in hospital, probably less. Everyone thought the baby would have to spend a month in SCBU but she's learnt to feed so well that she'll probably be out with Morgause. I was allowed to hold her the other week – and she's so tiny it's ridiculous. Morgause is allowed to feed her now, and –" she was cut off as Ken swept her up in a gigantic bear hug, briefly cutting up her oxygen supply.

"You've been great kiddo, I honestly don't know what we would have done without you." Morgana shuffled awkwardly, unused to receiving anything other than veiled insults from Ken.

"It's Merlin you should be thanking. He's the one who spotted that she was toxaemic and called the ambulance." Ken raised his eyebrows.

"Who's Merlin? Your boyfriend?" She blushed violently, hitting him. _That _was the kind of treatment she was used to from Ken.

"I'm not a kid, Ken. I'm an adult; I'm a teacher for heaven's sake! I'm nearly twenty three."

"Morgana, the first time I met you, you were seventeen and a complete brat. Nothing's going to change that view of you." He ruffled her hair and she blushed even harder. Morgause had casually introduced her boyfriend towards the end of their Italy trip, and Morgana had taken an instant disliking to the man who called her kiddo, messed up her hair and kept trying to eat Morgause's face. Plus he had messed with her the whole two weeks he joined them after catching her clad only in a sheet with an Italian man – Alvarr Botticelli– in her room. He had reduced Alvarr to a pale, blubbering wreck, kicked him out of her hotel room and grinned at her in a 'Little-miss-innocent-isn't-an-innocent way. Not that he had ever told Morgause, (thank God), but he would bring it up in subtle ways at the dinner table that made her squirm and choke on her food and wish him a thousand miles away from where they were staying. This was the first time she was actually glad he was here.

"He's kind of been living with me for the past few days – just making me dinner, keeping me sane." She said the last part with a breathy laugh, trying to turn the words that were tumbling out of her mouth in to a joke. It didn't work. Ken narrowed his eyes.

"Morgause mentioned in her last email that you'd been having nightmares again."

"It's nothing, honestly. It's not even like the last time –"

"Morgana…"

"I'm fine!" She raised her voice, before dropping in to a pleading tone. "Don't tell Morgause, Ken. She's got enough on her plate as it is, we don't want to do anything that could stress her out." Ken narrowed his eyes at her blatant emotional blackmail but conceded. Morgana pushed on.

"Do you want to go home and change, or…"

"I want to see Morgause and my daughter." Morgana grinned, and taking one of his suitcases, (It weighed a ton – definitely the one with his moisturiser in!) she lead him back to the Land Rover.

The sun streamed in through the chinks in the stark white hospital blinds, and as Morgana and Ken approached her room, Morgause was propped up on her pillows, tartly informing a nurse that she didn't care if it wasn't hospital regulations, she wanted to see her baby.

"And you can tell that SCBU woman that…Ken!" She gasped as she caught sight of the pair, and Ken rushed to her bedside, taking her in his arms as though she was made of glass. "I thought you weren't coming for another week?"

"As if I was going to wait a week." The pair shared a long and passionate kiss and Morgana groaned and turned away in disgust. Too weird. Ken spoke excitedly, his words tumbling over each other.

"Can I see her? Can I see our daughter – I still can't believe I wasn't there."

"Hush, it wasn't that bad. And I had Morgana to help – and her boyfriend."

"He's not my boyfriend!" Morgana muttered petulantly, feeling like an intruder on their happiness. Morgause smiled contentedly, reaching for Morgana's hand and squeezing it in her own. She turned to Ken,

"I've asked them to bring her in. I only wish they would let me go – I feel perfectly fine."

"You fall over every time you try to stand up." Morgana chided gently, and Morgause sighed.

"Well it's true that I have been feeling more tired of late. The doctors say that it should pass in a few weeks though, and that we can come home at the same time. Look – here she is now." The prune-faced nurse came in with the sleepy child, who whimpering softly at being woken. "Giver her to me," Morgause whispered, and the nurse acquiesced, her mouth pressed in to a narrow line. Morgana never tired of seeing the soft look in Morgause's eye when she held her daughter, the way she rocked her back and forth and kissed the top of her head. Ken seemed to have gone in to shock, simply staring at the baby as if it were a creature from another planet.

"Is this her?"

"No, this is the woman next door's baby. Of course it's her!" Morgause rolled her eyes. "God I hope she has the Lefay brains." Morgana giggled, and Ken looked daggers at her.

"Does she have a name?" Ken spoke softly, now taking one of the baby's tiny starfish hands with his finger.

"I was waiting for you to decide – but we were thinking about Elizabeth Rose." Ken grinned, one that seemed to burst through the barriers of his cheeks.

"That's perfect. Our own little Lizzie."

Morgana watched the small family, and for the first time she felt like an intruder – like she didn't quite belong. Morgause was starting her own family now, and it had been over a year since she finished university. Perhaps it was time to move on; start her own life. They would probably want to look for their own house, have more kids, and what would she do then? With a start she realised how selfish that sounded. Her sister wasn't even out of hospital, and already she was worrying about what would happen to _her. _Morgause looked up.

"Did you mark the Pardoner's Tale essays?"

"Yes, I thought Abigail Ryan reserved her spectacularly bad spelling for her history essays but apparently not." Morgause chuckled.

"What do you think of Gillian? He's not a bad writer at all."

"I remember teaching him History last year – I couldn't believe it when he said he wasn't taking History for A-level!" Morgana cried. "That kid is an absolute genius – I used to give him books I read whilst doing Russian history and he'd incorporate and analyse them so thoroughly in his essays, especially…" Ken gave a long and exaggerated yawn, and Morgana ground to a halt. Morgause hit him.

"Ken apologise."

"I'm sorry – but it's like being back in school listening to you two." The two sisters narrowed their eyes at him, and he scooped Lizzie out of Morgause's arms, holding her up as a defensive shield.

"Don't hurt me! I'm armed! With a baby!" Morgause rolled her eyes.

"Oh grow up Ken. Come here, Morgana, let's leave daddy with his little girl."

"You did not just call him daddy." Morgana's face was a mask of horror, and Morgause sighed.

"I know, what's wrong with me? Now do as I say and come here." Morgana came and perched next to Morgause on the bed, and ended up curling up to her like a cat, whilst Morgause stroked her hair. The two sisters laughed as they watched Ken reduced to a walking pile of mush at the sight of his daughter's eyes.

"Who's daddy's girl then? Who's got the most beautiful brown eyes in all of the world – ow – apart from your mother of course." Ken added the last bit after Morgause threw her pillow at him.

"Mum would have loved to see this." Morgana said, softly.

"Yeah, she would."

"Miss Lefay!" Morgana started awake, banging her head spectacularly on her computer. She straightened her glasses and stood up, cursing herself for falling asleep.

"Yes – um, Elfie?"

"The bell just went miss." Morgana glanced at the clock, and to her joy it was already quarter to four. And that meant half-term. Had she just slept through the whole lesson? God she hoped not – but now Merlin had gone back to Gaius's any sleep she managed to get was welcome. At least it was only year seven History.

"Right class – um – three reasons Henry broke from Rome?"

"That's Year Eight stuff, miss." A quiet boy who she thought was called Daegal spoke from the back. Of course he would know – the boy was bright enough to take GCSE history if he wanted to.

"Right, so – three reasons why William was able to conquer England. Yes, Caitlin."

"Castles, the Feudal System and…um."

"Go on – think about what he would need to do to see how much new stuff he had gotten after the invasion."

"Oh – the Doomsday Book."

"And which was the most important?"

"The Feudal system, because by establishing the hierarchy he brought order to a country that might have been torn apart by civil war after the Battle of Hastings, and prevented peasant revolt."

"Well, as you'll see when we come back that it wasn't quite as straightforward, but I suppose I had better let you go. Have a good one guys and girls." Morgana smiled to herself as the class filed out of her room, and she looked at the essays piled in what her opinion definitely did not constitute as a neat pile. A voice suddenly jolted her out of her calm state.

"Morgana my dear." She looked up, all traces of a smile gone.

"Headmaster." The man stiffened.

"Morgana please call me Uther."

"Fine, Uther, what is it?" He held his hands up.

"I merely came to ask how Ms Lefay is doing. She has had to leave us earlier than expected."

"She's doing fine – she still can't move, but at least her and Lizzie are OK." Uther gripped the back of a chair, closing his eyes as painful memories resurfaced.

"Morgana I want you to come and live with Arthur and me again. You have been alone in the house these past few days, and if Ms Lefay wasn't so selfish she would understand that it was in your interests to…"

"How dare you accuse Morgause of selfishness? When her only acts towards me have been those of kindness and selflessness. If you must know she insisted that I came and stayed with you but I refused and had Merlin stay instead, and if you could just comprehend that…" Uther cut her off.

"Merlin has been staying with you?" Shit.

"Um, no?"

"Morgana…"

"Fine, but not like that. He's been sleeping on my sofa." Which was a lie, but Uther would get the wrong idea if she told him that she had been using him as a cuddly toy three weeks ago. Because they still weren't together, even though Morgana's mouth went dry when she was with him, and she wanted nothing more than to pull him in to a supply closet and _make sure _that he wouldn't be able to get anything out, let alone Kantian philosophy.

"Morgana, I do not like that boy. What kind of a man studies _plants _for God's sake – useless, weedy occupation – and he clearly wasn't man enough to become a doctor…"

"Enough!" Morgana bellowed. "Merlin is the sweetest, dearest, kindest, funniest and bravest man I have ever met, who saved my sister's life, and if you dare to say anything against him…"

"You love him." His eyes narrowed. She raised her chin defiantly.

"And what if I do? Yes I love him. Yes I doubt he feels the same way about me but that gives me the right to tell you to shut up about stuff you know _nothing _about!" Evidently her last words hurt the old man, who visibly hunched over. His response was curt.

"I apologise, Morgana. I never mean to come across as I do in these meetings, but I am a foolish old man who I fear hurt our relationship beyond repair." Morgana's chest became constricted by guilt, and she opened her mouth to speak but was waved away by Uther, who trudged out of the classroom as if he had a boulder on his back. And yet even in his trudge his steps were clipped and sharp, and he still wore the menacing overcoat that was Sir Pendragon (OBE).

Gwen peeped around the door, unwilling or unable to comprehend what she had just heard.

"Morgana?" Morgana jumped about a foot in the air and turned around, guilt plastered all over her face.

"Gwen? How long have you been listening?" Gwen stepped in to the room, her face unreadable.

"Long enough. And you know what, Morgana, it's fine. I honestly don't mind – I know Merlin thinks of me as some sort of kid sister, and that he cannot ever see me as anything else. And I know that he loves you – every time he looks at you his eyes cloud over with longing – and that's as un-poetic a description of what's going on between you two that I can manage. I just – feel…" Morgana rushed to her friend, throwing her arms around her and trying not to think too hard about what Gwen had said about Merlin being in love with her. Gwen managed to keep the tears at bay, as she whispered, "It's just that I haven't actually had a boyfriend since Lance, and I'm twenty three in two weeks and _still _single – and…" There Gwen started crying, and Morgana said fiercely

"Gwen you are easily the prettiest woman in this building and don't let anyone make you feel otherwise. So what if Merlin doesn't feel the same way? He's hardly the most attractive man out there. You've got my foster brother on your case and you're refusing him. Whilst I struggle to see it, he's genuinely considered quite a catch – and he's in love with you, OK? And you choose not to be with him!" Gwen wiped her eyes on her overall sleeve and laughed through her tears.

"I'm being silly. Ignore me. Let's just watch Mad Men tonight and eat several tons of cookie dough ice cream." Morgana released her and grinned wickedly.

"I have a better idea. Let's glam up, go to The Tavern and get drunk. It's October half-term, we're free! Plus, I heard that they have an amazing band playing there tonight. Let's see how lonely you feel when you're fending off about a dozen tipsy men." Gwen giggled again.

"On the condition that you invite Merlin. God knows _something _needs to happen!"

**Please review – I need something to keep me going through the revision! Thanks as always to TimelordinCamelot, GrayEmber and RenaissanceBookLover, and to new (I think) reviewers Shelle-ma-belle and Lkg!**


	8. Chapter 8

…_She looked at the steady light, the pitiless, the remorseless, which was so much her, yet so little her, which had her at its beck and call (she woke in the night and saw it bent across their bed, stroking the floor), but for all that she thought, watching it with fascination, hypnotized, as if it were stroking with its silver fingers some sealed vessel in her brain whose bursting would flood her with delight, she had known happiness, exquisite happiness, intense happiness, and it silvered the rough waves a little more brightly, as daylight faded, and the blue went out of the sea and it rolled in waves of pure lemon which curved and swelled and broke upon the beach and the ecstasy burst in her eyes and waves of pure delight raced over the floor of her mind and she felt, It is enough! It is enough!_

_~ To the Lighthouse, Virginia Woolf_

**Hello! Sorry I'm a little late – I was trying not to clash with the update of Bound By Fate (Which is amazing by the way, and if you're not reading it read it now!) So I think this chapter will make my loyal readers very happy…**

**Thank you Greyember for always being the first one to review and just leaving awesome comments in general.**

**And THANK YOU Timelord in Camelot for being absolutely awesomesauce throughout this whole fic – and for coping with my panics about the Lancelot storyline (a character who you shall be meeting very shortly…)**

**Virginia Woolf is an absolute genius – I'm in the middle of To the Lighthouse now – that quote does play a li'l part in this story because I read it today and couldn't not include it.**

Music blared, the bright lights of The Tavern making Morgana squint as she made her way to Gwen with two vodkas. Morgana wore a short, emerald green silk shift dress with a black peter pan collar, her long wavy hair down and her lips painted bright red. Gwen followed in a deep red knee length dress that plunged at the neckline, her hair; usually stuffed in to a scruffy bun, falling effortlessly down her back in ringlets. Gwen shouted over the band, who were playing a Mumford & Sons cover,

"This is a terrible idea."

"Relax, won't you? So long as we're sober enough to recognise him if he's a sixth former, we'll be OK!"

"That's what I'm afraid of. We all remember last…" Morgana clapped her hands over her friend's mouth.

"We agreed never to speak of it again!"

"But you even-"

"You signed a contract. In blood." Gwen sighed dramatically.

"Proving my point. This is how it always goes – you get me drunk, enter a drinking contest with Gwaine, lose, do something crazy and then make me sign a blood contract stating that I will never speak of it again. And I always wake up semi clothed on a boat with another guy. Why a boat Morgana? Does it count as DUI if it's on a coat?" Gwen ran out of breath, and Morgana rolled her eyes.

"Gwen, come on. We always have fun, don't we?" Gwen conceded, ungraciously. "Then what's the problem? We're here for one reason: To cheer ourselves up after an awful term." Gwen's glare melted in to a grin as she reminded herself of her second mission.

"Where are the boys?" Morgana gestured around the room.

"Somewhere. I have a feeling Arthur is trying to drink Merlin under the table." Gwen looked murderous.

"Who invited Arthur? Who's idea –"

"Merlin's, the two are actually adorable together. Relax Gwen, do you have your pepper spray?"

"Yes."

"Well you know what to do with it. You know, Arthur doesn't actually have to be trying to kiss you for you to use it, you could just go up to him and…"

"Morgana I am not going to attack your foster brother! At least, not unprovoked…" Morgana pouted.

"Just a suggestion. Now let's attract potential mates with our amazing reproductive dance!" The two women downed their vodkas and began to dance to _Babel_.

Merlin watched, slightly scared, as Arthur downed his shot in one large gulp and tried desperately to conceal his discomfort.

"Peace o' cake." Arthur grinned, managing to focus his gaze on Merlin. "Come on then, Merlin, too chicken to try?"

"Too smart," Merlin muttered.

"You're a real smart arse Merlin, you know that?" Arthur slung an arm around his neck. "But I think you might be a smart arse who can't hold his drink."

"He can't," Gwaine drawled, coming from behind, a Bloody Mary in one hand and a Sex on the Beach in the other. "One whiff of a barmaid's apron, and he's singing like a sailor.

"I can hold my drink," Merlin exclaimed petulantly. Gwaine's eyes twinkled and he jumped on to the bar, taking a daisy from the vase of flowers and putting it in his mouth.

"Well then, take your shot my good man." He leant over the bar. "Oi Tristan! Eight shots of Kamikaze! Let's see if we can't put your alcohol tolerances to the test!" His voice lowered dramatically. "The ultimate battle. Merlin vs Arthur in a test of manhood and endurance; a melee of passing out. In the red corner we have, Merlin! Whilst physically weaker, will the gargantuan size of his ears give him an advantage? And in the blue corner we have Arthur Pendragon: Tall, muscular, but with a less complicated cheekbone structure than Merlin. Will that be his downfall?"

"Get on with it Gwaine," Arthur shouted. Gwaine carried on undeterred.

"And introducing their amazingly sexy, intelligent and talented referee, Gwaine O'Neill!"

"Get on with it!" Merlin heckled. Gwaine turned around and gestured at Merlin, before standing on the bar.

"Let the challenge begin – now!"

Morgana spied Merlin at the bar, and walked over to him, smiling. He had his head down on the table, but lifted it when he saw her and flashed her a goofy grin. He tried to walk towards her but tripped spectacularly over a bar stool, only just managing to retain his balance. Morgana laughed and perched herself on the bar, giving Merlin a view of her bare legs. Merlin smiled up at her happily.

"You're really pretty, Morgana."

"How drunk are you, Merlin?" He put his head to one side and considered it for a moment.

" Not that drunk. I can still talk all right. Arthur's _really _drunk. He's flirting with that barmaid, Vivian. She's pretty. Not as pretty as you though."

"Thanks Merlin."

"Did I mention that you're really pretty?" Merlin said earnestly. Morgana threw back her head and laughed. Merlin frowned, speaking slowly.

"But you are, only you aren't just pretty, you're beautiful. I mean look at your eyes – they're like jewels, flaming and glowing in the light. Emeralds perhaps, or jades. No I'm stupid – stupid and wrong. They're like when you step in to a thick copse on a summer evening, and you look up and you can see the amber sunlight dappled through leaves, all those oaks and pines and ferns illuminated, shining." Morgana blushed, her eyes softening. She ducked her head as she tried to comprehend her love, tried to contain it though she felt her heart might burst from the pain. It was then that it hit her, an epiphany so startlingly obvious that she wondered at her not getting it before. Any pain of rejection, any awkwardness or embarrassment between them could not hurt as much as this constant burning ache within her, this – millstone around her neck that dragged her down further in to the quagmire. She turned around to Merlin.

"Merlin I-"

"Ladies and gentleman! It is the moment you have all been waiting for, the karaoke! Two members of the audience will be selected at random and perform for your entertainment." Tristan beamed as his audience prayed to the powers above that they would not get picked. "And so tonight the spotlight falls on...this lovely young man who I believe to be Arthur Pendragon!" Arthur grimaced in horror, attempting to hide behind Isolde, the landlady. All to no avail as Percy grabbed one arm, Elyan grabbed another and they hauled him on to the stage. "And the answer to his heart's duet, singing with him tonight, is...this young man here!" The spotlight fell on Merlin, and Morgana nearly fell off of the bar laughing. He turned to her, panicked.

"Morgana I can't sing! I'm drunk!" She took a deep breath.

"Well here's some motivation." With that, she grabbed his ears and pulled him in for a searing kiss. When she broke away, he sat there for a few minutes, swaying gently. Then he stood up, purpose filling his eyes and jumped on to the stage.

_2 Minutes later..._

"You're the voice try and understand it!" Merlin and Arthur sang in to the microphone, their rapt audience jumping up and down, singing in response,

"Make a noise and make it clear!" Morgana and Gwen were clutching each other in fits of hysterical laughter, filming the performance on their phones.

"We're not going to sit in silence! We're not going to live in fear! Woahohoh, ohwoahohwoah..." as the instrumental started, the drunken crowd rushed to the stage and picked up the two men, carrying them through the club.

"Take me to Glasgow!" Merlin howled, and Arthur threw back his head and laughed." Merlin however caught Morgana's eye and tried to jump off of the crowd, but to no avail. Eventually he shrugged apologetically and resumed singing the last chorus enthusiastically. Morgana's heart beated and she wondered what she had done.

It took Merlin a while to remember the next morning. In his defence, Gaius woke him up by throwing a bucket of cold water in his face and giving him a detailed and disapproving lecture on the effects of excessive alcohol on the body, even going so far as to get down his brain – the brain, as he is so fond of recalling, of a tramp who used to wave at him when he was on his bike that he managed to procure from the morgue – and show him the tissue damage. Merlin's thoughts had been wandering as Gaius handled the grey matter, having seen enough grey cells in one lifetime. What had happened last ni – Christ his head hurt, surely a hangover cure would be better than a view of his dead friend's brain cells. Perhaps it was like Sherlock's skull, Morgana would like that – hang on a sec, what was that about Morgana? Something important, something...

"Holy shit!" Merlin cried, leaping about a foot in the air. Gaius looked up, perturbed.

"Well precisely, as you can see, Ernest's brain has been severely damaged from a lifetime of…"

"Gaius, I understand, I know but I – have to return a library book. Urgently! There's a massive fine on it, increases by – um one pound every hour. And it's probably in the tens – no hundreds by now…Christ Gaius I have to go!" And with that he grabbed his jacket and raced out in to the driveway. As he went out it began to rain, soft drops on his face turning in to lashings of violent rain. Merlin grabbed his bike and pedalled as hard as he could towards Eden Street, where Morgause's flat was.

The doorbell rang, the pressure impatient. Morgana emerged from her bedroom, drying her hair on a towel and dressed in leggings and a sweat top, her glasses somewhere too obscure for her to find, as per usual. The doorbell rang again, insistent.

"All right, Ken, I'm coming!" She ran barefooted to the door, fumbling with the latch.

"You know you could try bringing your own keys for once…" she broke off as she saw Merlin standing in the rain, his wet hair plastered to his face, droplets falling from him.

"Merlin come inside, you must be –" Merlin interrupted her by taking her in his arms and bringing his lips to hers, his fingers tangling in to her hair. She moaned in delight, her arms encircling his neck happily and pulling him closer to her. It was gentle, chaste even, all the passion that had been brewing between them simmering down in to something pure and startling in its shyness. It didn't last for long. As Merlin's hands began to travel up and down her waist, she kissed him harder, gently biting down on his lower lip. In response, he picked her up fully off of the ground, her legs coming up to wrap around his waist. In between kisses she murmured.

"You remember the way to my bedroom?"

"Perfectly, my love."

"Good because Ken is going to be back at any moment. So I think we should go there. Now." Merlin needed no further encouragement, and still kissing Morgana, opened the door to her bedroom and laid her down on the bed. He began to kiss behind her ear, nipping and sucking along her collarbone and she sighed contentedly, toying with his hair. This was where they were supposed to be, her and Merlin. She had waited such a long time for this. She frowned. When she thought that, it was as if it had been more than the two months they had known each other. It was as if she had been waiting before and beyond her existence, as if somewhere deep in the back of her mind she had been missing Merlin long before she met him. But she dismissed it as he began to unbutton her shirt, kissing down her breast bone and down to her navel as he revealed more of her upper body, and she cried out at the feel of his mouth on her, gently easing her tongue in. She remembered something she had read but a few years ago,

_It is enough! It is enough! _She pulled his lips back to hers and she realised perhaps for the first time what the words meant. It is enough, this life, no matter the pain and suffering and loneliness one might go through, it is enough to be lost in ecstasy and in the arms of your lover in a bed that was just a little too small at eleven o'clock, the smell of toothpaste and old books and the drops of rain from his hair dripping on to her nose, lingering on her eyelashes. It is enough.


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello! This is a happy chapter – as in, it will make a lot of you happy. Happier than the last one. But take note, reader, for storm clouds are approaching...so I thought I would let you have this chapter.**

**Enjoy! And please please please review, I would love to get fifty after chapter ten – which probably isn't going to happen but oh well!**

**And that reminds me. I got so excited that I was actually near chapter ten that I created a book cover for this fic, and I will put it up with the tenth chapter. And it was so much fun that if anyone wants a book cover feel free to PM me! **

**Thanks again to my trinity of loyal reviewers – TimelordinCamelot, RenaissanceBookLover and Grayember13. You guys are the awesomesauce on my awesomepasta. Wow that failed. But seriously I love you guys. And Shelle-ma-belle! You're back!**

They lay together for what felt like hours afterwards, their legs entangled, their foreheads pressed together gently. Merlin could smell her hair. It smelt like Dove shampoo, mixed with that warm, comforting scent that you can't quite describe, but makes you giddy with love. He wrapped his arms around her body, encircling her and she kissed him again, softly and lovingly. Morgana shivered as she nestled closer to Merlin, the cold autumn breeze creeping through her window, which they had forgotten to shut in the...heat of the moment. His hands cupped her face, stroking her cheekbones. He frowned.

"Are you crying?" Morgana looked bewildered as she put her hand to her face, feeling the tear tracks.

"I am. Why am I crying?" Merlin nudged her.

"Was I that bad?" Her laugh was delicate and quiet as she propped herself up on her elbow to look at him, tracing patterns on his chest and looking deep in to the swirling azure mass of his irises.

"I love you Merlin Ambrose, you know that?" Merlin smiled warmly as their lips met yet again, her bare legs wrapping themselves around his middle.

"As I love you, Morgana Lefay." Morgana frowned.

"Why did it take us so long to say that?"

"We've only had a couple of months..."

"No, it's taken us longer." Merlin looked at her worriedly.

"Morgana, are you OK?" She brushed her thoughts off with a shake of her head.

"No, I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me. It just feels as if this was a long time coming." Merlin smiled, kissing her hair and whispering in to it,

"That it was, sweetheart. But we understand it now. You were right, Morgana; you often are. We must choose to believe in it. And I do, I see it with my own eyes and it is almost tangible – I believe in it!" He cried out the last part, and Morgana shushed him with a giggle. He kissed her again – and then he couldn't stop kissing her, and decided that any speech should be short and between kisses.

"So – my darling – what do we do now?" The last kiss held on for longer, their lips and tongues entwined as he pulled her legs further around him, like a cape. She broke off from him and he pouted, giving her his puppy dog eyes. She considered the question.

"Do? Why we..." she was interrupted as Merlin kissed her again, and she tried to get words out against his lips.

"We go out for coffee." Merlin raised his eyebrows and checked his watch.

"It's half one." Morgana's eyes widened.

"It can't be!" Merlin's stomach rumbled in answer, and she sighed.

"Well, I suppose we had better get up." Merlin moaned.

"Do we have to? Who needs food – I reckon we've got a good two days before we actually have to hydrate." She giggled and pushed him off, getting up and opening her wardrobe.

"You came so early, I didn't even have time to put on anything nice."

"I don't think you need to put on anything to look nice," Merlin said cheekily, and Morgana swatted at him. She blushed though, and he considered that a small victory as he climbed out of bed and began to run his lips up her neck and down her shoulder, pausing in that place that he knew would drive her wild.

"I need to get dressed."

"No you don't."

"Yes I do and I need to make you some lunch." Merlin's stomach rumbled and he acquiesced, though not before turning her around and placing a soft kiss on her lips. She sighed in response, and pushed him back on to the bed. "Now get dressed. You'll catch a cold."

Merlin emerged from the bedroom; in the check shirt and jumper he had put on that morning. Morgana had told him to heat up the oven whilst she fixed her make up, and whilst it had taken her seven attempts, (Merlin had many inventive ways of distracting her,) she eventually got him out of the room. Making his way to the kitchen, he was met by a shirtless man with long hair and rugged, manly looks, who was flashing him a devilish smile.

"Morning." Merlin flushed beetroot red.

"Um, hi – look sorry about that."

"Oh it's alright, I brought keys with me this time. Anyway, God knows something needed to happen between you two."

"Ken, what are you doing?" This came from Morgana, standing in the doorway and now fully dressed. "Put a shirt on for God's sake." Ken raised one eyebrow.

"That's rich, considering what you two have just been doing." Now it was Morgana's turn to flush, looking up at him with loathing in her eyes.

"That is...it's not like we're – oh shut up Ken." He broke in to fits of laughter, clapping Merlin on the back. Merlin catapulted forward, saving himself from face planting spectacularly by grabbing on to a chair.

"I'm going out to get a crib etcetera, so I'll leave you two to it." His face cracked in to a wide grin at the thought of Morgause, who was now able to walk more than a few steps without falling over, coming home with Lizzie the next weekend.

"For God's sake put a shirt on to go out."

"Might get me a discount,"

"It will not get you a – shut up!" Morgana pushed him out of the kitchen and slammed the door, listening to his laughter echoing down the hall. She turned to Merlin.

"Sorry about Ken – the aim of his existence is to torment me. Now, you like falafels?"  
"Um, yeah, they're delicious."

"Good, because I make a mean falafel." She grinned at him coquettishly, and soon enough he had crossed the small distance between them and captured her lips in his, lifting her up and setting her on the table. Morgana scraped her nails down his back as her moan vibrated against his lips, grabbing at his shirt and pulling it off as her legs wound themselves around his waist.

"Oh Jesus, I'm not looking, I'm not looking! I haven't even left the house yet, could you not wait five minutes!" Ken's voice was a mixture of horror and disgust as he walked blindly in to the room, his hands over his eyes as he felt around for his wallet. Morgana broke off in to giggles, burrowing her head in to the crook between Merlin's neck and shoulder. She called out,

"There's a taste of what it's been like living with you and Morgause for the past year!"

"Just use protection, all right?" Merlin felt as though his face would burn up from the number of times it had gone red that day, and Morgana threw back her head and laughed, before deciding that since Ken probably wasn't going to come back in, and she wasn't that hungry... she fiddled at the button of his jeans, whilst Merlin resumed his attack on her lips. Merlin was right, food was really overrated.

They sat eating together, the time now reading three o'clock. Morgana hadn't lied when she said she made a mean falafel, and together with pitta bread, salad and hummus, Merlin felt like he hadn't eaten this well in a long time. Whilst the two eventually admitted to themselves that they were ravenous, they had decided that it would be disastrous if this meant that they actually had to stop touching each other. So currently Morgana was perched on Merlin's lap whilst Merlin alternated between eating and kissing her throat.

"You know if you hadn't started spouting Kant at me those few weeks ago we would have had a lot more time for this." Morgana breathed.

"I'm an idiot."

"Agreed." Morgana reached across the table for her phone, only to see _thirty two _missed calls from Gwen.

"Jesus Christ, what can she want?"

"Does it matter?" Merlin whined. Morgana dialled Gwen's number, signalling for Merlin to be quiet. Gwen picked up on the first ring.

"I hate you and this friendship is over." Gwen said vehemently down the phone.

"God, what did you do last night?"

"Well, you're little plan succeeded. I got drunk, hooked up with someone and had an amazing night."

"Well then what's the problem?"

"Because the amazing night was with Arthur fucking Pendragon!" Gwen screamed, Morgana having to hold the phone away from her ear."

"No way."

"Yes way and now he has left me his number with a smiley face and I have no idea what to do or how to let him down gently, and - Morgana are you necking whilst I am trying to tell you about my problem?" Gwen screeched the last part, and Morgana gulped audibly.

"Um, no...?"

"Morgana..."

"Fine, if you must know, Merlin is here."

"Hi Gwen," Merlin said sheepishly down the phone.

"Oh well that's just brilliant. You know what, when you two are married with adorable Irish babies and I'm still trying to fend off the advances of your foster brother, I hope you'll spare a thought for your poor, harassed friend."

"How hungover are you?" Morgana's voice took on a maternal tone.

"I feel like there are a million workmen drilling in my brain."

"What actually happened?" Silence on the other end.

"It will never be repeated. Ever."

"But Gwen...ah!"." Morgana gasped as Merlin mouthed his way down to her breasts, and she decided that this was probably a good time to hang up.

"I have to go Gwen."

"But Morgana..."

"Bye!" As soon as she hung up she gave a loud moan, fisting his hair in her hands. He mumbled in soft tones.

"You know, Arthur is going to kill me when he finds out." Morgana considered the matter.

"Basically. I think you'd better draw up your will now, detailing the bit that leaves your girlfriend everything you've ever owned." Merlin's grin was as wide as if someone had stuck a coat hanger in his mouth.

"You're my girlfriend now." Morgana laughed as he resumed his task, and she thought that for the first time she was really head over heels in love, in love with the small place under his chin on his neck that was soft and sensitive when she kissed it, in love with the smell of herbs and aftershave and the salty taste of his skin. She was in love, love without tragedy or speeches or cheesy soundtracks but a love so strong that she never wanted to let go.

Morgause was reading _The Great Gatsby _when the nurse announced that she had a visitor. Assuming that Ken or Morgana had dropped in to surprise her as they so often did, Morgause called for them to let the visitor in. To her surprise, however, it was neither Morgana nor Ken – but an entirely different figure.

"Nym, how lovely to see you." Miss Nym Ueh stood in the doorframe, her posture upright and formal.

"Morgause, how are you feeling?" Morgause shifted a little in her bed, already feeling the pangs of fatigue hit her.

"I'm doing fine, just wish that I could be out of this place!" Nym smiled, the action performed as if all the muscles in her face were staging a violent protest against it.

"And the baby?"

"Lizzie is getting on splendidly, she'll be out with me." Morgause did her best to seem polite, but she honestly didn't know this woman that well – and she really wanted to sleep. Seeing this, Miss Ueh changed tactics.

"What do you think of our Head, Sir Pendragon, Morgause?" Morgause's face hardened.

"Let us just say that there is no love lost between us."

"Why?"

"Chiefly because he's a misogynistic bastard who I believe to have been emotionally and in some cases physically abusive towards my little sister, his foster daughter." Morgause said coldly, wondering if this was Uther's latest tactic – to try and get her to slander him in front of his spy and use it to fire her. Well if it was, she'd fight him, toxaemia be damned.

"Do you have any proof?"

"No. Morgana refuses to tell me what went on, only that she preferred it at boarding school. And trust me when I say that that is bad."

"A pity." Morgause raised an eyebrow.

"Excuse me?" Nimueh smirked, walking around and sitting on Morgause's bed, patting her hand.

"You must know that there are many who are unhappy with Uther's presence in the school. He is an infection, that must not be allowed to spread. There are many who would rather see you as headmistress." Morgause sat back, stunned.

"Me?"

"Well why not? You have a doctorate in English, even if Sir Pendragon has banned teachers from being called doctor – whilst retaining his own title. You are smart, and collected, and I believe could do great things with this school." Morgause frowned.

"But even if that were true, we could never depose Sir Pendragon. His power is absolute – he hires and fires as he pleases, gives bonuses to his son whilst threatening to cut my pay for taking more than three months maternity leave – he is a law unto himself."

"Whilst that may be true within the school, he is still a subject to the laws of Ireland. And I have reason to believe that..." She glanced around at the nurse, and leaning in to Morgause, whispered something in her ear, something that made Morgause's eyes widen so much that they nearly popped out of her sockets.

"No..."

"Yes."

"Sir Pendragon."

"Yes." Morgause drew in a sharp breath.

"He would go to prison." Miss Ueh smiled deviously.

"Is that not what we want? To rid the school of Uther Pendragon for good. He is an evil man, Morgause." Morgause nodded, her head aching so much that it pounded in to her eyes. Nym let go of her hand. "Well, I will leave you to sleep on it. Just remember what I told you, Morgause. And don't tell anyone – except perhaps your little sister. It sounds as though she could be useful." The nurse came out.

"Ms Lefay, you must rest. Why you've gone as white as a sheet." Morgause nodded, pressing the button for more painkillers. She lay down in her bed, shaking, her teeth knocking together.


	10. Chapter 10

**Hello loyal readers! So, this chapter is going to be quite different from the fluff you're used to – it's a Merlinlite chapter, and is the beginning of Morgana's breakdown…and it's my tenth chapter! I'm so excited! Please review – especially if you haven't done before.**

**Thank you to GrayEmber13 – I'm glad you're enjoying the story.**

**Thank you to TimelordinCamelot, who is absolutely awesomesauce and if you haven't read A Different Era then you should do because it's fantastic. Thank you for reviewing every chapter and helping me with storylines and taking the time to write to me and on my stories! **

**And thank you to DuchessEmma! I'm glad you did like that chapter, I wrote it, read it through and decided that Merlin should definitely have a li'l Mr Darcy moment in the rain (although I wasn't a massive fan of the 2004 adaptation.) And I've nearly finished To The Lighthouse now and I'm in love with it and Virginia Woolf!**

_Mother of beetles, only unclench your hand:_

_I'll fly through the candle's mouth like a singeless moth._

_Give me back my shape. I am ready to construe the days_

_I coupled with dust in the shadow of a stone._

_My ankles brighten. Brightness ascends my thighs._

_I am lost, I am lost, in the robes of all this light._

**Sylvia Plath: Witch Burning**

"I'm fine Ken, I'm not made of glass," Morgause snapped, walking (aided by Morgana) out of the wrought iron gates leading to Donegal hospital. Ken was holding Lizzie, and anxiously inquiring of Morgause whether she wanted to sit down every five minutes. Lizzie was now over six pounds, although she was still achingly tiny, and Ken could fit her in both of his hands. Thankfully she was asleep, for whilst small she had a powerful set of lungs on her.

"I can't believe it – you're coming home!" Morgana laughed giddily. Morgause smiled, but it was a smile laced with tension, as she remembered what was waiting for her once she went back to school. But she brushed the thought off as soon as it came. That was six months away, a year if she could get Mr Pendragon to see reason, and there was no point at all in worrying unnecessarily.

"Did you get the crib, Ken?"

"Yes sweetheart."

"And a playpen?"

"Yes sweetheart,"

"And…"

"Morgause Ken practically bought Mothercare. Everything's going to be all right," Morgana smiled, giving her sister's shoulder a comforting squeeze. Morgause sighed.

"I know, you're right – it's just that I hate not having been home in so long, and not knowing what's gone on – I like to be in charge, and having everything ordered, and…" Ken interrupted,

"Which is why it's a good thing that Morgana and I are the most disorganised people in the world. It's good for you girl." Ken stroked Lizzie's hair, which already was sprouting a few golden curls. They had bundled her up warmly, and she was buried underneath layers of white wool and pink floral cotton.

"Look at her. Isn't she the most beautiful thing you've ever seen?" Morgause smiled down at her daughter over Ken's shoulder, gently brushing one of the golden ringlets away from her eyes.

"Completely perfect." Morgana shifted uncomfortably. That feeling of being the odd man out returned, planting its seed in her mind. Before it could grow, however, Morgause squeezed her arm.

"You'll be godmother, of course." Morgana grinned, squeezing Morgause's hand.

"This kid is going to be so spoilt by the time I'm done with her. I guess I'd better get busy!"

"Oh Morgana's been very busy lately," interjected Ken, smirking. Morgana glowered as she realised that she wouldn't be able to hit him while he was holding Lizzie.

"Shut up, Ken." Morgause frowned.

"Wait, what? What am I missing?" Morgana held her breath, wondering if Ken would tell about her and Merlin on the kitchen table. Because she was pretty sure that violated about five of Morgause's house rules and at least ten of the subsections of said rules. But Ken merely winked at her and said,

"Oh just Morgana hooking up with the boy with the large ears who got you to hospital."  
"Merlin?" Morgause looked surprised. "I thought he was a friend? Because you know, Morgana, casual sex may not seem like a big deal at the time but it really does have an effect on you after a while, and…"

"Oh my God that is not what this is and we are not having this conversation!" Morgana exploded. She took a deep breath. "I love him, and I think he loves me."

"Love? You've only known him for what – two months?"

"Oh leave me alone," Morgana snapped, and Morgause recoiled, hurt.

"I'm sorry to intrude, sister. I'm only worried about you." They had reached the car now, and Morgause let go of Morgana's arm, glaring.

"Oh for the love of God will you two stop bickering!" Ken shouted, and Lizzie woke up, her face screwing up and her mouth open as she wailed. Ken groaned. "Great, now you woke the baby. Hey shh, princess, you're okay. Just mummy and auntie Morgana being silly." He raised his voice at the last part, and Morgana immediately flung her arms around Morgause, who slipped and caught herself on the rear mirrors.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to fight with you – you've just come back, and I've missed you, and…" Morgause hugged her back, smiling.

"I shouldn't have pried, it wasn't any of my business." Ken rolled his eyes, a habit he had picked up off of Morgause and Morgana.

"Jesus Christ – look are you done with your gab fest? Because we have a baby here who I think wants to get home as much as I do – don't you sweetheart." Lizzie whined a little in response, and Morgause climbed in to the back, reaching out her arms for Lizzie.

"Give her to mummy, Ken." Morgana groaned.

"You are not going to start calling yourselves mummy and daddy are you? It's just a little creepy." Putting on a high pitched, semi-seductive voice she purred, "Daddy's going to tuck you in tonight, Mummy's got a lovely treat for you – ow!" Morgause had whacked her over the head, and the two sisters giggled, Morgana rubbing the patch ruefully. Morgause's face grew serious, however, as she said,

"I am glad you're happy now, Morgana. How are the nightmares?" Morgana's face immediately shut itself off, and she looked down, unwilling to connect. Ken started the car, and Morgana leant over to the driver's seat and started yelling advice.

"No, don't reverse now, can't you see that old lady with all the shopping? Okay now easy, easy, don't drive too fast – Jesus Christ man your baby's in the car, you're driving like a maniac!" Morgause pulled her back, aware that Ken was five seconds away from making her walk.

"Morgana?"

"They're fine, honestly. It's not the PTSD returning I don't think – I don't even dream about what happened that often. The nightmares have changed." Morgause looked alarmed.

"Changed? How have they changed?" Morgana shifted in her seat.

"Now, it's different. I dream that I'm being poisoned, and that I can't breathe. I think sometimes it is Merlin poisoning me, but that I'm really shocked by it, like he's betrayed me. And then I dream that I'm standing over a crowd, on a balcony. I'm wearing a crown, and you're standing beside me. I lower my hand and the guards shoot in to the crowd and people begin to run. I don't think any of them are seriously hurt, but there's a little girl who had her leg pierced by an arrow. And then," she was detached, she was being smothered but that was okay because if she couldn't breathe then she couldn't feel. She was cold blooded, blue blood ran through her arteries and her veins and all those networks of blood vessels and platelets and blood cells withered and crumbled in to dust because she couldn't feel. "I dream that I'm in a dark pit, and I can't see the sun, and I'm chained to Aithusa. She's screaming and I'm screaming but they won't release us, only haul me up for torture. Those dreams are the most graphic, I can actually feel the cuts on my back from the whip and the broken shards of my bones. Sometimes Aithusa is Aithusa, but sometimes she's a dragon, with her bones all twisted and deformed, and her skin sticking gauntly to her cheekbones – and I keep trying to free her by speaking these words, but it's not working, and…" Morgause cut her off, her voice quiet with suppressed emotion.

"How long have these nightmares been going on?" Morgana looked guilty.

"That one time, when I took time off of school, and then since the beginning of October. They aren't so bad when I'm with Merlin though…"

"Since October? How could you not tell me about this?" Morgause hissed, mindful of the sleepy baby. Morgana raised her hands,

"In case you hadn't noticed, you were in hospital, on the verge of death! The nurses told us not to stress you out!"

"Well you're stressing me out now! Ken, did you know about this?" Ken held up his hands, and Morgana grabbed the wheel just in time, climbing from the back to the front of the car.

"I had no idea they were that bad! She told me they were nothing!" Morgana curled up on the seat, putting her hands over her ears. She did not want to listen to what they were saying; she didn't want to think…

The two sisters were in the living room together, Morgana with her head on Morgause's lap and Morgause toying with her hair. It was something the sisters had done that year after Morgana's breakdown, when they went to Italy. Morgause had done English and Psychology at university, so she would lie with her head on Morgause's lap and talk about her dreams, and Morgause would interpret them. It had sounded naff when Morgause had first suggested it, but it was so therapeutic and soothing that Morgana had felt calm, at peace. She had started to write up her dreams and Morgause's notes in her journal. It had been a sort of exorcism, purging her demons. And it had worked, and she had got better. Now the two sisters were alone - Lizzie was asleep in her room and Ken was trying to book tickets back to Cape Town – they thought that they might try it again, only a little different this time.

"Morgana," Morgause intoned softly, "I need you to trust me, okay? You have to remember that throughout this, no matter what I say or what happens, I am on your side and I am not going to hurt you, okay?" Morgana nodded, closing her eyes. "I need you to tell me what happened between you and Uther." Morgana's eyes jerked open and she sat up, glaring at Morgause.

"Nothing happened. I don't want to talk about it." Morgause's gaze met her own.

"I think the best way to tackle your nightmares is to tackle the source."

"You know the source, Morgause." Morgana blinked back the tears that were smarting her eyes, brushing them away angrily. Morgause sighed.

"I would believe that your parents' death was the source of your nightmares were it not for the fact that they died nearly twelve years ago. And the dream you were describing to me – it detailed imprisonment and torture, and the betrayal of someone you thought loved you."

"I keep telling you, these dreams are different. It's hard to describe, but it was not by Uther's hand."

"But he did do something, Morgana. Yes our parents death was the cause of your PTSD but I believe that Uther amplified it.

"He refused to believe that what I had was an illness, refused to believe that I was ill," Morgana whispered. "He would shout at me and tell me that I was being ridiculous and childish and needed to get up now. When I wouldn't he physically dragged me out of bed."

"Did he ever hurt you?" Morgause probed, gently.

"Sometimes." Morgana paused, struggling to find the words. "He didn't like me answering back. He used to fly in to a rage, suddenly."

"Did he hit you?"

"A bit. Like I said, he didn't like me answering back." Morgause suppressed the rage building up inside her, and asked calmly.

"What else did he do?"

"He used to wrap his hands around my throat and squeeze, quite hard. That's the only place I ever had bruises. One time I thought he was actually going to strangle me, and I started crying, and suddenly he let go. Mostly though he would just lock me in my room, and tell me that I could come out when I'd learnt the error of my ways. Once he tied my hands to the bedpost, so I couldn't move. Arthur was amazing when that happened, he would bring me food and slip books underneath my door." Morgana began to cry, curling up in to a ball. Morgause's pen had stopped moving and she sat there, stunned. Morgana continued, "But what was worse was that he kept apologising, and I had no choice but to forgive him. Sometimes he would cry, and say I was like the daughter he never had and that he loved me. I never knew what to do – and I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want to worry you." The tears coursed down Morgana's cheeks as she remembered, sobs wracking her body.

_She is holding a knife over Uther. She is crying, glass smashes and she falls back, hitting her head against the wall. _Morgana's head was beginning to spin, and she could only think that he deserves it, they all do, they have to suffer.

"And I missed mum and dad and you so much, and he understood but didn't want to talk about them because they 'brought back too many memories.' And I felt so scared, and I couldn't…" She gave up talking and simply cried in to Morgause's jumper, her sister wrapping her arms around her tightly.

"Why didn't you tell anyone, sister?" Morgause's voice was thick, and Morgana thought she was trying not to cry.

"What could I tell? He never left any marks save that one time, and he had taken me in. I didn't know what to do." She was somewhere else now, she was falling and something was coming down and sealing her in and she couldn't escape, she banged on the walls in a vain effort, screaming when she couldn't be heard on the outside.

"Morgana, are you okay?" She couldn't fill her lungs up quickly enough, another image hit her, blinding her with white light.

_Uther is wearing a crown and has pinned her against a wall, choking her. The scene changes and she is in a dungeon, crumpled on the floor, her wrists rubbed raw from the chains, blood dripping on to the straw." _They would all pay, they had to pay for what they did to her, her head was hurting; the carpet pattern swam before her eyes. She heard Uther's voice, heard her own voice, heard screams over and over again that grew in volume, they're too loud they hurt her ears she wanted them to stop but no one could hear her because the screaming had gotten too loud. Stop it stop it!

"I can't breathe,"

"It's all right, Morgana, stay with me." Morgana began to scream, covering her ears but it wouldn't stop and she thought that perhaps the air was all being used up by the screamers and that there wasn't enough for her because she couldn't fill her lungs.

"No Morgause, I can't breathe."

"Morgana please, just listen,"

"I can't go back there – don't make me go back there, please. I can't breathe; they're going to kill me. Morgause! Sister where are you?"

"Morgana I'm here. Are you with me? Morgana are you with me?"

"_Are you with him? Or are you with me?" Morgause stands over her, canting the words of an ancient spell. Suddenly Morgause's face crumbles and disintegrates before her eyes; she raises a dagger and…_

_It's her parents, their bodies are at odd angles. They aren't moving. She keeps screaming but her mouth is blood from her head. Black, everywhere, and blood on the seats. She tries to get up but there is debris on her leg and everyone is crying or vomiting. Someone is crying out about their leg, others are telling people to stay calm because help will come and she just wishes her mum and dad would open their eyes…_

_This one feels different. It's not at all medieval looking, nor can she remember anything like this. She's in a hospital bed, and Morgause is asleep in a chair at the end of her bed. Merlin is holding her hand, there are tears streaking down his face. She can feel his guilt, but it wasn't his fault, none of it was…Merlin's angry. He screams, and his eyes glow golden and something explodes…_

Morgana gasped. She was lying on the floor in the recovery position; Morgause knelt by her head.

"What happened?" She asked groggily. Morgause was crying properly now, gently stroking her hair.

"You had a panic attack. You've been out for a while. No – don't get up. Just lie down. Oh Morgana, why didn't you tell me?" Morgana stared at the ceiling, feeling like she did when she was sixteen, and would wake up to find a teacher standing over her, some calm, some crying. She muttered,

"I don't want to go back on the anti-depressants."

"Why?"

"They make me feel tired, and sick."

"They work,"

"No they fucking don't and you know it!" Morgana screamed.

"Morgana everything's all right."

"I don't want to do it again! I don't want to – I can't Morgause. I'll go crazy."  
"Shh, Morgana, everything is going to be all right."

"I won't be able to teach, I won't be able to write – I won't be able to do anything!"

"Fine. Tell you what, we'll arrange an appointment with Doctor Aglain for another day, okay?" Morgana nodded, sitting up slightly. She leant against Morgause's shoulder, and the two sisters sat there for a while. Finally Morgause said,

"Morgana, Miss Ueh has given me some information. Information that would bring about Uther's downfall, but we need someone close enough to him to get proof. Would you help us?" Morgana shook her head miserably,

"I don't want to. I can't, Morgause." She wondered why she was so cold. She wanted to bite and scratch herself, draw blood, feel that raw primitive red on her skin that made her feel like an animal, like something that could be hurt and loved but couldn't be broken. Mammals were warm blooded, they had red blood. She had blood cells and platelets and blood vessels and she had a heart that beat rapidly when she was scared or with Merlin and he was running through her blood and she loved him and she could feel. She shook her head again, and Morgause squeezed her shoulder.

"Well, you don't have to if you don't want to. But personally I think the experience would let you put the past behind you once and for all."

"I can't." Morgana wondered why Morgause couldn't understand – she couldn't feel anything more about Uther Pendragon because she is a warm blooded mammal and he is nothing but a reptile, sterile and cold with scales for flesh. The warm blooded pitied the cold blooded, they never felt angry, even when the crocodiles ate their children. Because they were warm blooded and could feel, and the reptiles never could. Imagine if the mammals did not pity, but instead grew angry. The world would go up in blood and smoke. And so hers would. Morgause hugged her again, that mumsy smell of milk and talcum powder reassuring her _she was alive, she could feel_ and Morgause stood up, her hands on her back.

"I swear I'm not going to rest until that man is behind bars. He is evil Morgana, and what you have just told me cements it. Uther is going to pay for what he has done."

"I might visit Merlin tonight, Morgause." _He was running through her veins, singing to her blood. He had reached her heart, and he had shown her that her blood was red, not blue "_If that's all right." Morgause smiled through the remnants of her tears.

"By all means. I love you, Morgana, my brilliant, brave baby sister. Never forget that."


	11. Chapter 11

**Hello, this is a bit of a filler chapter, but never mind. It's sweet. And I'm only working up to killing off a major character. Review and I'll save them.**

**Thank you Timelord, Gray-Ember and Renaissance Book Lover! Hey you're back!**

_Do you mind if I come over? I need to get out of babyland for a bit. ~ Morgana xxx_

_Sure xxx, Gaius is at some conference so I have the place to myself. U OK? ~M_

_Tell u at yours ~Morgana _

Merlin opened the door, frowning at the sight of Morgana. She looked awful. Her face was pale, her eyes red from crying. He kissed her gently, wrapping his arms around her and was startled to find her shivering.

"Hey, what's the matter?"

"I love you," she murmured in to his shoulder, trying not to cry. He laughed, kissing the top of her head.

"We've only been apart, what, three days? Hey come on, I love you too." He shut the door behind them, and steered Morgana in, sensing she was on the verge of meltdown.

"How's Morgause?" Morgana smiled.

"Oh it's great having her home again – doctors have told her she just needs to rest a lot, and there'll be quite a few home visits. Her and Ken are just spending as much time with Lizzie as they can before Ken flies off to Cape Town again. She sat down at the kitchen table, looking around. She was pretty sure that the house was late sixteenth century, or perhaps early seventeenth as she ducked her head to avoid the criss cross beams of the kitchen. The warm glow of the fireplace lit up the small room, and there were piles of books – some old, some brand new textbooks everywhere. The wooden floorboards were rough and uneven, and the whole house gave out the impression of _home _– to be ridiculously clichéd, it was cosy. Merlin put on the kettle, getting out a tin of cake.

"Gaius has started baking – he's not bad actually," Merlin chuckled, showing Morgana a picture on his phone of Gaius in a flowery apron and oven gloves. Morgana laughed, taking the phone and scrolling through his pictures. Most were of him and her, or Gwen or Arthur and the boys from school, but eventually she came across an older woman, shielding her face from the camera but smiling gently.

"Is that your mum?" Morgana asked timidly. Merlin nodded.

"Yes that's mum – she's called Hunith. She had me when she was seventeen, raised me all by herself. Works as a neo-natal nurse at the hospital back at home, but growing up we never had much. I'm worried about her though, the landlord's threatening to chuck her out and she won't have anywhere…" he broke off, smiling self consciously. "Sorry, I meant to ask about you, but I got…"

"No," Morgana placed a hand on his, her eyes meeting his. "Please tell me more – have you got any photos in this house?" The kettle whistled, and Merlin poured two cups of tea, cutting two generous slices of the cake.

"Ginger cardamom and earl grey – Gaius likes to experiment. Come up to my room, I'll show you some pictures." Morgana warily ascended the uneven wooden staircase, dodging past various ancient manuscripts until they reached the attic, Merlin's room." It was quite a large room, but much of it was uninhabitable, due to the sloping roof beams. There was a bed, a warm red rug and a portable heater, which as Merlin explained was useful seeing as there was no heating at all in the house. There were bookshelves all over the walls and on his desk, as well as a rickety old laptop Merlin had done countless paper rounds for. They sat on the rug together, their legs entwined and their heads touching, occasionally taking a sip of tea or a bite of cake as Merlin showed Morgana his photo album. Morgana smiled at the picture of a short woman with long black hair and wide blue eyes with a toddler on her hip, both grinning at the camera.

"Your ears were adorable." Merlin swatted at her and she grinned, taking the opportunity to kiss him. For a moment they were lost in each other, Merlin drinking up the scent of her hair as they broke apart, breathing gently, those smiles that couldn't keep off their faces playing on their lips. Morgana looked at the photo then.

"How old is your mum there?" Merlin checked the date.

"About nineteen." Wow. By the time Hunith was Morgana's age her son was nearly six years old. Merlin asked, tentatively,

"Do you have any family pictures?" Morgana hesitated for a moment, wondering if it was wise to do this so soon after her attack. Brushing the thought aside, she delved in her handbag, picking out two photographs. Merlin laid them gingerly on the floor. In one was a dark haired, bright eyed couple, playing with a toddler on the carpet. The toddler had a mop of dark ringlets and bright green eyes, and was grinning up at her parents.

"Is that your mum and dad?" Morgana nodded, looking at the photographs fondly. The other photograph was of her, Uther and Arthur. Uther's face was elongated with a beam, his green eyes alive and the skin around crinkled. Arthur was grinning too, his face splattered with mud and wearing a school football shirt that was obviously too big for him. He had his arm protectively around Morgana, who was rolling her eyes in her trademark manner, but was smiling too, perhaps a little reservedly, but it was genuine. Her leg was covered in a plaster cast, adorned with signatures, and there was a long jagged scar on her forehead.

"You look like Harry Potter," Merlin teased, and Morgana poked him playfully.

"This was taken about six months after I got out of hospital." Morgana murmured. Merlin's arms tightened around her and she snuggled in to his shirt. She wanted to talk to him about it, because she _could_ talk about it now. Morgause kept talking about avoidance issues. She was past all that now, and she didn't need to go back on the anti-depressants. "Do you remember that massive rail crash, in 2001?" Merlin nodded.

"I remember my mum talking about it – Jesus Christ, were you in that?" Morgana nodded, a tired half smile on her face.

"It killed my parents. I watched them die. Their heads were bashed in and their limbs at funny angles and – no I'm sorry I can't." She balked, and Merlin stroked her hair.

"Hey, that's fine. You don't have to talk about it."

"I feel sick."

"Have some tea?" Merlin suggested, and Morgana accepted with a grateful smile.

"Anyway, that was the day my world turned upside down. I moved in with Arthur and Uther, started going to boarding school. That was when the nightmares started. I kept dreaming I was in the crash, and I knew it was going to happen, but I couldn't stop it and then it would happen again – sorry." She apologised.

"Don't, don't say sorry." Merlin insisted. "But what happened today?

"Morgause wanted me to talk about it. When I was younger and she was finishing her doctorate I would talk to her about my dreams and worries, and she would analyse them. She was the one who took me to Doctor Aglain and insisted that he diagnose me with PTSD. Even then Uther didn't like it. Kept saying that there was nothing wrong with me, I just needed to get outside more, or something. Anyway, today Morgause wanted to tell me about what – what it was like at home, with Uther. And I did start telling her, but then I panicked and started to have flashbacks. Eventually I passed out, gave Morgause a right fright." Merlin interrupted,

"What, you passed out? Are you all right – do you want to lie down." Morgana rolled her eyes.

"I'm fine, Merlin, honestly. I just – really wanted to be here." She smiled faintly. "You know, I'm really bringing down the mood." Merlin sat for a while, lost in thought.

"I always used to worry so much about my mum. She worked herself so hard for so little. I mean all the way through her twenties, she should have been out with friends and enjoying herself, but when she wasn't working she had to look after me. So I made a promise to myself that I would get her out of that flat and in to a posh house somewhere, as soon as I was making money. And I loved biology, so I thought I'd train as a doctor – and I loved my course, and my time at uni, and I was so happy."

"Why did you decide to become a teacher?" Morgana asked, curious.

"Because I worked out that as a specially qualified teacher I would earn more than a junior doctor." Merlin said flatly. Morgana squeezed his hand, her heart filled with compassion. And yet Merlin smiled to himself.

"But even though I wanted a job as a doctor so much, I love teaching, more than I could have hoped. And at the end of the year, I'm going to find a really nice place for her to live, and that's going to be – incredible." Morgana looked at him, love in her eyes.

"What did I do to deserve you?" Merlin looked at her incredulously. Deserve him? Deserve – she was Morgana Pendragon, men practically fell over their feet trying to ask her out – and she had chosen him. And she was funny, and brave, and kind and beautiful. In response he kissed her, cupping her face with his hand and pulling her closer. Morgana straddled his legs, kissing him so hard she thought she would bruise his mouth. As she unbuttoned his shirt, he broke off, asking her,

"Are you sure? You've had a rough time of it this afternoon." But Morgana nodded fervently.

"I need this, you, Merlin." He kissed her again, pulling her tshirt over her head.

They woke up in a tangle of sheets and Merlin's duvet, Merlin half off the bed with Morgana's head on his chest, her hair tickling his chin. He slowly opened one eye – and then promptly fell off the bed, taking Morgana with him.

"Ouch." Morgana complained, although Merlin didn't see why she was complaining, seeing as she landed quite comfortably on him. Still, he regarded her with a sheepish,

"Good morning." She laughed quietly.

"Good morning. Hey, happy Halloween." Merlin's eyes lit up like a little kid's and he kissed her good morning. Inevitably the kiss deepened, and his hands ran through her hair, getting in to a more comfortable position to kiss her in. She laughed against his lips.

"Someone's a little eager this morning." He put on his best puppy dog eyes and she sighed contendedly.

"Let's go downstairs. It's too cold up here. At least you have the stove in the kitchen."

"You want to do this in the kitchen?" Morgana smirked.

"Or in the living room, I'm not fussy – hey put me down!" Merlin scooped her up, sheet and all, and carried her down the stairs.

"You're too skinny," Merlin complained, but she merely shrugged.

"I eat enough."

"I blame vegetarianism. You don't eat nearly enough of the good stuff." Morgana cuffed him around the ears for that one, and he set her down at the bottom of the ladder. Immediately they began to kiss ravenously, and Morgana pulled the sheet around to enclose them both. Suddenly they heard a key scrape in the rusted lock, and Morgana's eyes widened.

"You said Gaius wouldn't be back until this evening!" Merlin ran his hands through his hair distractedly.

"That's what I thought – shit – okay, we can just go up and get dressed and I'll – um try to distract him whilst you escape."

"Escape? And anyway, I'm hungry."

"I know, and I'm sorry but Gaius is my Great Uncle and it would just be so incredibly awkward I think I would implode from embarrassment." Morgana tried to hide her smile.

"Okay then. They clambered up the ladder together and hastily got dressed, Merlin tugging on his jeans and falling flat on his face. Morgana bit her lip.

"I'm missing my bra, and my t-shirt."

"Shit I think we left them downstairs." Gaius's voice carried from downstairs.

"Merlin, are you up yet? You haven't been drinking again have you? I will not hesitate to show you Ernest's brain again."

"No! No seriously I'm coming down in just a sec!" Merlin's voice was high pitched as he threw one of his own Death Cab For Cutie t-shirts at Morgana and ran downstairs, still buttoning up his shirt." He scrambled down the ladder and came face to face with Gaius.

"Right – um, did you get some shreddies?" Every wrinkle in Gaius's face showed his disapproval as he held up Morgana's bra with a stick.

"I found this in the larder, Merlin." Merlin flushed tomato red, wishing that the floor would open up and swallow him whole. "I would expect this kind of behaviour from a student, possibly, but not from someone your age and certainly not from a teacher. Come on, who did you have over? Was it that Freya girl who keeps giving you cups of coffee in the staffroom? Well was it?

"It was me, Gaius," Morgana crept in to the room, Merlin's tshirt ridiculously big on her. "I'm sorry – we didn't actually realise," Gaius's surprise was quickly replaced by his embarrassment, and the room was silent for a while as every person wished themselves a thousand miles away. Finally Gaius spoke up in a gruff voice.

"I believe this belongs to you, Morgana."

"Thank you," she whispered, mortified. Finally deciding that she had to say something, she piped up,

"Do you want me to make breakfast?" Both men turned to her in surprise and relief.

"That would be lovely my dear, thank you," Gaius said, recovering his dignity and thus able to treat her normally again. "How is Morgause? I heard she came home yesterday."

"Oh fine, it's babyland back at my place, that's why I came here – porridge or a cooked breakfast? If it's cooked then it will have to be vegetarian."

"Porridge would be fine, Morgana, thank you. He eyed her curiously and she raised her head defiantly, self consciously fiddling with the bottom of Merlin's t-shirt.

"So how long has this been going on for?" Merlin looked at Morgana.

"Since Wednesday, I think."

"Technically Tuesday."

"Well yes, technically." Gaius mulled this information over, his left eyebrow performing some ancient dance as he thought.

"Well my dears, I would be careful. I don't think Uther would be too happy if he heard about this, his no dating policy is terribly strict."

"I like that! When his own son does all the beautiful teachers in the school!" Morgana said, outraged. She opened the fridge and scoured for milk, finding some oats in the larder. Merlin sat down at the table and watched her contentedly, whilst Gaius harrumphed for a while longer.

"So are you going to tell Uther?"

"God no." Merlin and Morgana said simultaneously, their eyes widening.

"Uther doesn't like me anyway, if he finds out I'm dating his foster daughter, he will serve my head on a silver platter with a dressing from my vena cava." Gaius nodded.

"For all his faults as a foster father he's very protective, has been since the accident," Morgana put in, "and I've never brought a boyfriend home for the simple reason that he would rip them to pieces."

"You're going to have to tell him some time, Morgana," Gaius chastised, gently. Morgana held her head high in the air.

"Well, we'll see when the time comes. Now, who wants sugar and who wants raspberries?"

The coffee shop Morgana chose was small, part bookshop. Its high walls were covered in books; a small man was polishing coffee cups behind a dusty counter. The coffee was served in chipped mugs, but it was good coffee, as Merlin commented, sipping his. Morgana tapped on the rim of her mug, biting elegantly in to a slice of chocolate cake.

"Mmm, this stuff is good," Morgana sighed, receiving a beam from the man behind the counter. "This is strange – it's a first date. But I know all about you all ready."

"Well, perhaps it's a good thing. Everything's gone so fast – even I'm not quite sure what happened. Gwen knows, Gaius knows, Arthur doesn't know and Uther definitely does not and will never know." Merlin crammed his face with flapjack, crumbs spraying as he said, "Fo swort food lunk ee sed do?"

"What?"

"What do you think we should do?" Morgana considered the question, setting her mug down on the table and rubbing the place where her glasses sat on the bridge of her nose.

"Well, the last time you asked that question I said we should go for coffee. And here we are, going for coffee. So now I don't know." She took a sip and winced as the hot liquid singed her tongue. "It's Halloween. Let's dress up with Arthur and Gwen and tell him with masks on. Perhaps it will be easier."

"Arthur and Gwen? Won't that be just the tiniest bit…I mean I thought Gwen broke up with him."

"This is Gwen we're talking about. She tried to break up with a guy and ended up telling him she was pregnant."

"Gwen was pregnant?"

"No – that's what I mean. It was excruciating. How do you think she's going to break up with the lovesick puppy that is my foster brother." Merlin grinned goofily.

"Just so I know…how do you do Halloween here? As in how geeky do we actually go."

"We have a Doctor Who marathon and make drunken brownies." Morgana deadpanned. Merlin sighed in relief.

"I'll call Arthur. Would I seem really weedy if I asked if I could borrow his sewing machine?"


	12. Chapter 12

**Hi, shorter chapter this time but we go back to school in the next chapter, which is when the main plotline starts. This chapter ties up the whole – Merlin/Morgana beginning awkward faze, and I guess starts something else as well. Thanks to my GORGEOUS reviewers – especially Timelord in Camelot xxx.**

"Mmmm," Morgana moaned softly, as she bit in to a delectable slice of oreo, marshmallow, champagne and white chocolate brownies. The champagne had been a little bit of mistake, but as Morgana had informed Gwen, life was like brownie mix. Sometimes you could pour champagne on it, and it would still turn out all right.

"These are the best fucking brownies in the whole entire history of people!" Gwen declared, her beautiful headdress: inspired by Of Monsters and Men, skew-wiff on her head. Morgana tipped her head to one side. She had decided to go for the Burton Alice in Wonderland look, although her see through dress meant that Merlin had repeatedly tripped over sofas and dropped heavy objects on his feet.

"What were Stone Age brownies like?" Morgana queried, and Gwen gave her an incredulous look.

"Well, chocolate was made of stone in those days, wasn't it." Morgana frowned.

"Exactly how drunk are we?" Gwen considered the question, taking another bite of brownie.

"Drunk enough to make us regret this tomorrow." Morgana nodded, carefully absorbing the information.

"Where are the boys?"

"Merlin challenged Arthur to a Jedi fight. To the death." Morgana finished off her brownie, carefully licking her fingers.

"I like Merlin."

"I know."

"He makes me…" Morgana searched for the right word. "Happy. Really happy."

"You are so lucky. How come you get lovely, sweet Merlin, and I get your foster brother." Morgana grew serious.

"Sweetie if you don't like him you should break up with him."

"But that's the thing." Gwen moaned. "He's being so lovely and courteous and – he actually opened the door for me the other day. He's… he's… _chivalrous._" Morgana pressed a hand to her heart.

"Dear God no!" Gwen gave her a suspicious look.

"Are you taking me seriously?" Morgana shrugged.

"I can't take anything seriously when I'm this drunk." She hesitated slightly. "But…" Morgana sighed. "Look, I can't actually believe I'm saying this, but I think you should give him a chance."

"What?"

"Well Merlin told me that he really, genuinely likes you, and that his general prattishness is him trying to impress you. And he obviously cares for you." Morgana took a deep breath. "Please don't be too vocal about this, but I'm guessing the sex was alright." Gwen nodded.

"He was actually really gentle…"

"Argh too much information! Seriously, I think we can stop there!" Morgana screamed, getting up from the table and promptly falling over. "Ow."

"Who's driving you home?" Gwen asked, her drunken brain in slightly better working condition than Morgana's.

"Ken, I think – or I'm walking. I don't know. Whichever way lets Merlin come with me." Morgana said, gingerly picking herself up off the floor.

"Don't you still feel like a teenager sometimes? I mean, we're living with our siblings – we've never been independent."

"I know what you mean – I've basically gone in to the family business."

"I wanted to be an artist, but my brother told me that I had to earn some good money." Gwen mulled it over, deciding that she had had too many brownies to turn back now.

"I mean, Morgause and Cenred and Lizzie are a family now. And that's great – I just don't know how I didn't see this coming. I always thought Ken would leave, or – you know I don't even know what I thought. But it's…it's….mushy."

"Mushy?"

"Yeah – plus the fact that Morgause subjects Merlin to the Spanish inquisition every time he's over." Morgana imitated Morgause's husky tones. "So Merlin, what are your long term career plans? When are you thinking of moving out of Gaius's?" Morgana changed her tone again, rolling her eyes and deciding that the boys really didn't deserve three brownies each. Gwen contributed.

"Don't talk to me about the Spanish inquisition – you don't live with your brother. I can't even look at a guy without Elyan threatening to beat them up. I remember this one time Gwaine…anyway, that's the loudest I've ever heard someone shout 'I'm gay!'" Morgana giggled, but her tone soon grew serious.

"Let's do it."

"Do what?"

"Move in together. Like in Friends. Find an apartment, split the rent – we can bring Merlin and Arthur back without our siblings freaking out and eat all the ice cream." Gwen frowned.

"You had a problem with that?" Morgana's eyes glazed over as she recalled the previous nine months with mild horror.

"Well, so long as neither of us gets pregnant, we'll be okay. The whole of Morgause's pregnancy I never got a single scoop of any of the expensive ice creams she bought." Gwen patted her hand.

"I promise to try not to get pregnant." Morgana's eyes lit up.

"So are we doing this?" Gwen beamed.

"Yes, I think we are doing this!" The two girls shrieked and hugged, dancing around the kitchen together and crashing spectacularly in to worktops. Arthur and Merlin, hearing the crashes, pelted down the stairs.

"Where's the burglar," Merlin squeaked, his broom (which was being used as a lightsaber,) brandished menacingly. Arthur's attention, however, was drawn to the bottle on the table.

"You finished the drinks?" Arthur said, outraged. Gwen, remembering what Morgana said about giving him a chance, slipped her hand in to his. His face immediately mellowed, turning slightly pink as he grinned goofily down at the girl who had his hand in hers. Gwen looked up in to those aqua blue eyes, sought out the tendrils of green amid the azure blue that made them so wonderfully different from Merlin's and found her lips slowly drifting towards his. When his mouth finally pressed on to hers, warm and soft and just really _nice_, her hands came around his neck, just lazily enjoying the feel of his lips on hers and the way his hands softly explored her hair; the nape of her neck; the bones of her cheek. She broke off for air, and blushed deeply, ducking her head. Arthur's grin stretched the sides of his face. Before he hadn't been sure – didn't know whether she was too scared to break up with him or if she was just messing around. But surely kisses couldn't be that good if the other person didn't mean it? He caught her chin with his finger, and the two started kissing again, their drunkenness giving them added confidence. Gwen suddenly didn't care that she disliked Arthur; that she really didn't want the hassle of dating the headmaster's son. She just kissed him back, her hands moving up and down his arms as he pressed her against the wall. Gwen closed her eyes.

"There are condoms in my bathroom."

"What about Merlin and Morgana?"

"They'll live," Gwen breathed, her eyes still closed. Arthur gave her a final peck, before heading towards the bathroom. She slowly sank to the floor, touching her mouth gently with her fingers. _Wow. _She looked up and noticed that Merlin and Morgana were missing. Probably found a quiet place to snog. Wait, hang on a sec…the cogs in her brain began to whir, and she stumbled to her feet.

"Arthur don't go in…"

"GAH!" Too late. Arthur sprinted back in to the kitchen, tripping over a skirting board and skidding about a yard on his stomach before smashing in to a door.

"My eyes!" He howled, quivering in a heap. "They are forever branded." He raised his head, with the look of a man who had been tortured for ten years without relenting. "Merlin and Morgana, they were…it was…GAH!" He shuddered deeply, rocking back and forth, his eyes in a distant place. Gwen, trying to stifle her laughter, knelt down and wrapped her arms around Arthur.

"Hey, shh sweetie, it's okay." Morgana appeared in the doorway, breathless and with her dress buttoned up the wrong way.

"Arthur I can explain," A mad light came in to Arthur's eyes and he ran towards the bathroom door, pounding on it.

"Ambrose let me in!"

"No!" the muffled sound came defiantly through the door.

"Let me in now or I'll break this door down!" With a sigh, Morgana did what she had to do. She leapt on to her foster brother's back, causing him to back away from the door. Morgana pounded on his back.

"Arthur – Pendragon – shut – the – Hell – up!" Each word was delivered with an almighty slap, and Arthur was sent back reeling. Merlin's voice came from the bathroom.

"Gwen can I come out now?"

"I think you'd better, Merlin." Morgana maintained her grip on Arthur, her bare feet digging in to his back.

"I'm warning you Arthur, stay off my boyfriend!" Morgana hissed in his ear. As Merlin came out, trembling, Arthur looked as he did when Morgana tried to explain Quantum physics.

"He's your boyfriend?" Morgana tried to roll her eyes, but with all the champagne she had consumed it made her dizzy.

"Well, yes, actually he is. And I like him with his face intact." She carefully got down from his back, still holding him by the arms. "Now, can I trust you to behave?" Arthur nodded sullenly.

"I'm sorry, I can't hear you."

"Yes, alright? I'll behave." Arthur paused, his eyes flitting between Morgana and Merlin.

"He's your boyfriend? Since when?" It may have been a trick of the light, but Merlin thought that Morgana was blushing.

"The morning after we went to the Tavern." She went over to Merlin, who was in the corner watching Arthur like a rabbit might watch a fox, and nestled in the crook of his arm. A peculiar look came over Arthur's face.

"Oh God, you – you're actually in love, aren't you? This isn't just – this isn't just sex." Merlin looked in to the forest green of Morgana's eyes and nodded. Her face broke in to a grin, pulling his head down for a kiss. This was the first time he had ever admitted it in public – and it was so beautiful, just to hear it, just to hear him say it when her head was fuzzy from drink and her dress was still buttoned up the wrong way. Arthur however, did not see it that way.

"Oh God, no, just – argh!" Morgana giggled and pressed her forehead against Merlin's. Uther and her nightmares and Morgause seemed to fade away as she looked up at the man in front of her and thought that she could get through it all, all the black and the screaming and the man with the golden eyes who _couldn't _be Merlin, if she could have moments like this.


	13. Chapter 13

**Hello! Sorry about the update date, I took a little time off to work on my other story Fate Unwoven – if you like this one, please go and review! Anyway, please enjoy and leave a review here!**

November dragged its feet in the way that it usually does in Donegal, punctuated by frequent rainstorms and black weather. The Science labs were always at extremes, boiling hot in the summer and icy cold in the winter. Merlin knew they were in trouble, however, when a student came to his desk complaining that their limewater had frozen whilst testing for Co2. Worse still, the school building: whilst maintaining its beautiful; ethereal image as a nine hundred year old abbey on the hill emerging from the mist and frost, apparently had a nine hundred year old heating system as well. Flimsy red jumpers were hardly enough to stop the violent shivers of the students, which as the temperature dropped, came to resemble convulsions. Mr Pendragon's continuing ban of trousers for girls meant that many a teacher would simply send a girl outside to slap some colour in to her legs if she looked in danger of losing all circulation there.

And yet there was a resounding cheerfulness amongst the pupils, one that cold December weather and the misogyny of the headmaster could not hope to dampen. It is that cheerfulness that has filled all who lived in Britain and Ireland since the beginning of the seasons, and that burns bright as a band in the harsh winter weather. Yuletide, and more importantly for the pupils of Camelot High: The Christmas holidays. A time of warming your hands at the one working radiator after two gruelling hours of hockey, and of going out in to Donegal town centre and spending all of your shopping money on novelty pens for your friends. They were so close – only a week away. Morgana had given up on making her pupils do any work in the last week, claiming that it was too cold to even contemplate doing anything. Instead, she put on Game of Thrones for her Sixth formers and told them to make notes on Kingship and politics for work on the War of the Roses. Meanwhile, her other years watched films she claimed were _highly relevant_ to the subject matter, such as Mary Poppins for the Year Nines, who were doing changes in women's suffrage. Whilst initially groaning at her 'tame' choice, soon everyone was singing along to 'Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious,' Morgana secretly noting those who knew all of the words. Arthur constantly threatened to tell Uther of her classroom antics, but as Morgana suavely answered,

"_I'd like to see you try."_

"All right Year Seven!" Miss Ueh barked, her red lips bright against her skin, pale with cold. Morgana frowned and lifted her head off of Merlin's shoulder. The coach had barely been moving for five minutes and already she was curled up to Merlin, preparing to go to sleep. At least, she was, until that accursed Nymphadora Ueh chose to bark out instructions and a register at the poor, sleep deprived year sevens who all had their headphones firmly nestled in their ears. For with the end of term came an age-old Camelot High tradition. The Year Seven Residential Trip to Snowdonia. 7LEF and 7AMB were on the coach together, whilst 7PEN and 7JON were on the coach behind. It took some arch manipulation from Gwen and Morgana, but they had wangled it. Now, Morgana was cursing their luck at getting the same coach as Miss Ueh, and Freya was shooting them grimaces from where she was sitting. The ferry to Wales left at 10:30, so of course all one hundred and twenty students were sitting sleepily on the coach at 5:00 whilst Merlin asked Phil Striker, nearly in tears of despair, how he could have lost his passport in the last few seconds since he had shown it to him. Morgana had slept over at Merlin's, which was far closer to the school, and yet it was still nigh impossible to wake her up come four o'clock. But then again, Merlin was a highly creative man.

"Right, I am going to establish the rules on this coach journey. This coach is going to be your second home for the next few days, so we're going to keep it clean. No crisp packets, no coke cans – and definitely no chewing gum." Morgana moaned as Miss Ueh's voice rebounded against the walls, magnified as if by a sonic screwdriver by the megaphone.

"Shut up, shut up shut up!" Morgana muttered in to Merlin's jacket. He chuckled sleepily and planted a kiss on the top of her head. Freya gave them a curious look, but kept her silence. Morgana wondered if she had guessed about her and Merlin. She hoped for the love of God that Miss Ueh hadn't.

"You've got to stop doing stuff like that," Morgana murmured. "People are going to suspect something. You know how students gossip."

"Well you're the one curled up to me like a cat."

"Oh this is purely platonic." Morgana said, as she drifted back in to sleep. "Mercenary, even."

"And no music before 10 am," Miss Ueh barked, and Morgana jumped about a foot in the air. Sighing in annoyance, Morgana grabbed the megaphone from Miss Ueh,

"And even after 10 am, there is a permanent ban of Justin Bieber, One Direction, The Wanted – um,"

"Carly Rae Jepsen?" Freya supplied helpfully.

"Yes, Carly Rae Jepsen. Other than that, feel free to sleep now Year 7." Applause followed her last statement, apart from a few groans from the beliebers and directioners of their forms. Miss Ueh glared at Morgana.

"Morgana, there was no need to undermine my authority in such a manner. And your last comment bordered on an informality unacceptable with students." Her tone softened, however, and she forced a smile on her face. "I am willing, however, to dismiss it as sleep deprivation." Morgana forced a smile in return, before burrowing her face in to Merlin's jacket. Ever since Nymphadora Ueh had got so pally with her sister, she had been all too keen to make friends with Morgana. And she knew why. Despite Morgause's attempts to keep Miss Ueh away from Morgana, She knew that every time she looked at Morgana she saw her past, and what Uther had done to her. She saw a soldier in her crusade against Uther Pendragon, and above all she saw a well of something she wanted to feed off. Morgana hated her, but to be honest, she was a little busy with trying to keep her eyes open…

"Morgana," a hand shook her shoulder. "Morgana we're at Dublin." Morgana blinked, slowly coming to her senses.

"Ugh. I hate early mornings. It's too cold." Miss Ueh took the megaphone once more, and Morgana groaned.

"Right, once we are aboard the ferry, I want everyone to travel in groups of four. Hopefully have all exchanged your money, but if not I must ask you to change to pound, sterling, before reaching Pembroke. Now please process off the coach in single file – excuse me that does not constitute as…" Miss Ueh's voice faded in to the background amongst the excited chatter of the students, all reaching for their phones and texting their mums excitedly.

"I hate this part of trips," Freya confided to Merlin, as Morgana fumbled with her suitcase. "I went on the Classics trip to Italy this year, and it was nightmarish."

"Oh really?" Merlin hummed, oblivious to the gentle flutter of her brown eyes.

"To be honest, it's nice to hear a familiar accent," Freya grinned. "I'm from Belfast, you?"

"Armagh," Merlin flashed her an adorable grin, before ducking his head back in to the coach. "Oi, Morgana! Get a move on, would you?"

"In a minute!" Morgana snapped, and Merlin rolled his eyes at Freya.

"Not an early riser this one."

"Hey," Morgana emerged from the coach, something akin to jealousy flickering in her eyes. "It's not like you did anything to help me sleep last night." Merlin laughed and shushed her discreetly, wrapping an arm around her waist.

"So now you're going to pin the insomnia on me?"

"Oh absolutely."

"Do you have insomnia?" Freya asked, curious. Morgana smiled in confirmation.

"Ever since I was twelve. And then when I do go to sleep I get nightmares."

"It's just, I'm a sleepwalker." Morgana broke away from Merlin and went to walk beside Freya.

"Wow, poor you. Do you ever remember your dreams?" Freya nodded, giggling.

"It's always the same dream. Only, it's not quite a dream. I dream that I'm a cat, a big one. I think it's some sort of Panther. The odd thing is, I'm never in a different place. It's just as if I got up from my bed – as a cat!" Morgana laughed with her, imagining the tiny Freya scampering around her flat like a cat.

"What about you? Do you remember your nightmares?" Morgana nodded hesitantly, unsure of how much she was willing to divulge.

"Oh, to be honest most of them are nonsense." she laughed. "I dream I'm this woman, sometimes a Lady, sometimes a High Priestess, sometimes a Queen of the North."

"Like Game of Thrones? Is that where these come from do you think?" Morgana decided she liked Freya.

"Perhaps. But, they're very vivid, and very – different – from Game of Thrones. They feel…familiar." She smiled apologetically. "Sorry, I'm probably not making a lot of sense."

"No, no," Freya assured her, "I find it fascinating – after all it's my job."

"Are you just going to keep talking without me?" Merlin shouted from behind them, and the girls chuckled.

"I really liked Merlin," Freya confessed, "but I see you two are very happy together – oh no, don't worry. I won't tell. But you seriously need to be a little more subtle." She flashed Morgana a mischievous grin. "There are bets going on in the staffroom as to how long it will take for Uther to find out – and some of them are scarily short." With that, she skipped off, laughing to herself and leaving Morgana speechless behind her.

"Has everyone got their passports?" Miss Ueh yelled, as the muddy fields of Holyhead became visible over the horizon. The ferry journey had been long and arduous, punctuated by bouts of seasickness on the part of around five year sevens. Kara climbed up on to the helm and spread her arms out.

"It's like flying, Jack!" She cried out, and Morgana pulled her down sharpish.

"I hope you realise exactly how dead you would be if Miss Ueh caught you." She hissed, and the eleven year old grinned.

"Not as dead as you would be if she found out about you and Mr Ambrose." Morgana opened her mouth to 'correct' her, but nothing coherent came out. Finally she whispered,

"Anyone else know?"

"In our year? Don't think so. Some people further up the school have a pretty good idea though."

"Anyone who'd tell their parents?"

"No miss." Morgana ruffled Kara's curls, knowing how much it irked her.

"Good girl. Now go find Mordred, make sure he's okay."

"It's all right actually – we met these two other people – Daegal and Sefa, in Mr Ambrose and Miss Jones' class. They're all right, and Daegal's so tall that no one really messes with him. Morgana laughed giddily, scarcely daring to believe that all the stuff that had kept her up at night might actually be coming right.

Gwen and Arthur came up to her, their arms around each other, grinning ridiculously.

"Nearly there," Arthur murmured, looking out at the view from their ferry. If you squinted very hard, you could just see the top of the Snowdonian mountains. "Does this –" he broke off, embarrassed. "Never mind. Forget I said anything." Morgana frowned, but thought nothing of it. She walked across the boat and came across Merlin, his head in his hands.

"Merlin? Merlin are you okay?" He shook his head, as if trying to clear water from it.

"Yeah I'm fine – I'm fine." He laughed nervously, and looked around as if trying to make up his mind about something. "Look, Morgana, close your eyes. Just think, just think about this place." More than a little confused, Morgana did as he bade.

"That's right, that's right. Just – clear your mind." Trying not to laugh at the cheesiness of the last sentence, Morgana was focusing on the fuzzy grey outline of the mountains when…

She moaned in agony, crouching to the ground, her hands over her ears. "It hurts! Merlin it's hurting me!"

"Morgana? Morgana stay with me."

_She was ten years old, making the crossing, with one hundred oarsmen rowing her towards the white castle on the mountaints. Tears streamed down her face, yet she stood regal, commanding the men who rowed her. The silver rose on the bright gold flags fluttered in the breeze. The sigil of the House of Gorlois. _

She started up, her eyes opening suddenly. Merlin leapt back as if electrocuted.

"Your eyes – Jesus – your eyes!"

"My eyes? Merlin what about my eyes?" Merlin blinked and shook his head.

"Nothing – a trick of the light, perhaps. I'm sorry – I didn't realise it would be like that for you."

"Why? What – what did you mean – I don't understand." Merlin spoke slowly and deliberately, looking out across the Irish Sea.

"It feels as though something is closing in on me, trapping me. I _feel _trapped, Morgana. And yet at the same time – there's power there. More power than I've ever held before.

Morgana gave him a concerned look, but as she opened her mouth to question him, she felt it too. That power, that surge of might and ancient strength flooding her. She took Merlin's hand, and it felt a little as if they were facing it, together.

"I've seen that horizon before," she said quietly, "But from a different side. From Cornwall. I was ten years old." Merlin asked her quietly, as if fearful of the response.

"When your parents died?" Morgana shook her head.

"No. It was one of my nightmares, Merlin. Not one that I'd had before but I knew it was that same woman, the Lady and the High Priestess and the Queen of the North, I saw all their potential in that little girl. In me." Merlin sighed, and took her in his arms.

"I think," he said slowly. "I think perhaps something has been trying to keep us from this. More importantly, I think it's lost the fight."

**Ok, so things are going to get a little…weird from here. Again, sorry about the ridiculous update date!**


	14. Chapter 14

When they arrived in Snowdonia, it was approaching seven o'clock. After an extended stop at Holyhead and several impromptu stops on Morgana's behalf as she made everyone explore medieval castles and churches; marvelling about the stone and the deaths associated with the place – the two hour journey from Holyhead was extended by quite a bit. The journey seemed everlasting by the time they drew up by the chalets, tucked away in the Snowdonian Mountains. There was a small array of shops as well as a B&B where they were to have breakfast each morning – but apart from that, they were on their own. As the students tumbled tiredly out of the coach, stretching their aching limbs, Morgana looked up and cried out in delight as she saw the falling snow.

"Isn't it beautiful?" She breathed, allowing it to nestle in her hair and on her eyelashes.

"It's cold," Arthur grumbled, most of his face hidden by the enormous woolly hat Morgana had bought him for his twenty fourth birthday.

"Oh grow a pair," Gwen scoffed, slipping her arm in to his. Together the four looked up at the snow, each lost in their own world.

Out of the corner of her eye, Morgana noticed Freya, standing on the edge of the hill they were on, looking down at the lake. She approached her, cautiously.

"Freya? Freya are you alright?" The girl blinked, before looking up at Morgana.

"Oh, yeah I'm fine. Sorry – I just – you know what? It's nothing. I'd best be getting to bed, I'm tired." With that she ran off to the chalet she was sharing with Miss Ueh, leaving Morgana baffled.

"Odd," she muttered, before espying Miss Ueh in the corner of her eye.

"Ah, Miss Lefay. Here are the keys to your cabin – you'll be sharing with Miss Jones. Morgana accepted with a gracious smile, and Miss Ueh swept off: Probably to tell Merlin off about something. Whilst the bloodhound's back was turned, Gwen slipped Morgana a devilish smirk. Oh they knew _exactly _where they were sleeping tonight.

"Let me in, I'm freezing," Merlin complained, rapping at her back door." Morgana let him in, with a giggle and a whispered, "shh," as Gwen slipped out the same way and knocked at Arthur's cabin. They shut the door sharpish, as the snow had only increased in intensity. As soon as the key turned in the lock, Merlin kissed her, pushing her gently down on to a rug by the roaring fire. Smiling, she slipped off her pyjamas until she was naked beneath him, taking his face in her hands and admiring the structure of his cheekbones – something that she never thought she would tire of. Of course she didn't spend very long admiring them: There were more important areas to explore. Merlin kissed her hungrily, only pausing when Morgana was trying to tug his shirt over his head, getting it stuck rather painfully on his ears.

"They're too big, he muttered against her lips, his hands grazing against the soft skin of her stomach.

"They're perfect," she insisted, before pushing him off her gently.

"I'm going to take a bath," she announced, sauntering over to the curtained area in the corner, pulling it back and turning on the water, her long black hair falling down over her back. She ran over to Merlin and kissed him again, feeling more than a little cold.

"The water takes ages to run," she murmured, running her fingers through his hair. "We have time to kill." Feeling the chill of her skin, Merlin began to nuzzle down her neck, placing hot kisses over her arms and stomach, then back to her lips. Morgana closed her eyes, her lips parted slightly. "That's better. Warm me up, Merlin." His smile was devious as he lifted her up and deposited her in the bath, taking off the remainder of his clothes and climbing in with her.

"As my lady commands," he murmured, managing in the hopelessly cramped bathtub to kiss a path up her legs, teasingly slow as he circled around her thighs.

Merlin woke in a tangle of blankets and towels and Morgana in front of the fire – well, what used to be the fire. Significantly colder than he had been before the flames had died, he gently tried to disentangle himself from the sleeping woman, whose hair spilled on to his chest as she tightened her grip around him.

"No way," she yawned, "If you leave I'm going to be twice as cold. I forbid it."

"Let's run up in to the mountains together," Merlin whispered in to her hair. "It's still dark, it's so early in the morning. Let's see the stars from the hilltops."

They ran up the mountain paths together, their hands held tight. The early morning frost made their noses red and the back of their throats ache, but that only made them run faster.

"Slowcoach!" Morgana cried, panting a little herself.

"You'll pay for that," Merlin shouted back, rugby tackling her down on to the snow and proceeding to tickle her for all she was worth. She shrieked and squirmed, yet he refused to relent, until finally he lay back in to the snow, laughing so hard the thought he might burst a gut. Morgana waved her arms up and down, and they made snow angels, making extra care that they didn't ruin the clear shape as they got up. But they kept on running after, and didn't stop until it was dawn, and they reached the top of the hill.

"It's magnificent," Morgana breathed, looking down at the valleys and hills of Snowdonia, the snow sparkling in the new sunlight. It reflected the pinks and purples and oranges of the sky, casting a celestial glow over the village they were staying at. Morgana leant her head against Merlin's shoulder, and they stood like that for a while. Until she left, and crossed to the other side. She gazed at the great lake that people still called Avalon, watching as the dawn colours caressed the shining waters: The black silhouette of birds skimming the water, creating ripples. She felt the wind against her cheek. It cut against them, gave her that feeling of connection with sky and earth and water. She opened her arms and let it embrace her; caress her in its steely grip.

And yet as she looked closer, her heart froze. There, standing in the middle of the lake at near minus twenty degrees in the air alone – so God knew the temperature of the water – was a lone figure. Whoever it was had nothing on but a slip, yet was up to her waist in water. At least, Morgana thought she was a she – her long brown hair pooled in the lake.

"Merlin!" She shouted. "Merlin! There's a student down there!" Merlin crossed over to her side of the mountain, visibly paling.

"Shit, shit, shit…" they scrambled down the rocks together, tripping and stumbling in their effort to reach the woman in the lake.

"Hey!" Merlin called. "Hey, get out of there! What the hell do you think you're doing young lady…?"

"You'll catch your death!" Morgana shouted. "Come out – please. Sefa? Sefa is that you?"

They reached the shores of the lake, skidding on the banks. It started to snow again, Morgana's glasses steaming up and her hair clinging to her face. The figure turned around, and Morgana gasped out loud.

"Freya? Freya what are you doing? Come out, you have to come out now!" Freya laughed, her smile bordering on ecstasy.

"It's time. Don't you see? It is the time of rejoicing, the time of the returning. The dawn must come, the sun will rise and he will return. The water, it reflects the stars, the heavens above. They all sing of one name. Can't you hear them, Emrys? Her eyes became pleading as she turned to Morgana. "My lady. I was so cold, so tired. You clothed me once, though you knew it not. You are a priestess; you have heard the stars sing as I have. Do not tell me you cannot hear that now." She turned to Merlin, her tears falling in to the water. "You loved me once. This life you are destined for another, but you must listen to me!"

"Delirium," Merlin muttered. "Probable hypothermia. We need to get her out. Now."

Thinking fast, Morgana took off her coat, jumper and shoes, until she was only in a long-sleeved top and jeans.

"What are you doing?" Merlin said, aghast.

"Trust me," she murmured, already feeling the bite of the cold weather. She shivered, and plunged in to the lake before she could think again.

"Morgana come back," Merlin yelled, his voice echoing through the valley.

"Call 9-9-9," she yelled back, already unable to feel her legs. "She can't last much longer." The cold was torment, as if some unseen force was hacking at her skin with a knife. She walked until she also was waist-deep, until she stood facing Freya.  
"Freya, come back." She said quietly. "Please. I am begging you." Freya tilted her head to one side, and she began to sing, her voice beautiful and clear in the sharp daylight.

"_Andlang tidfaran __reónigmód,_

_Andlang aet Avalon._

_Ic i __forþscence fantbæþ froma amel aet ou_

_Andlang aet Avalon"_

Morgana replied instinctively, as if long ago someone had taught her the answer, and it came readily to her lips as the question was asked. She sang in a voice husky but sweet:

"_Naht tidfarans for ou, sweostor,_

_We adwelap froma Avalon._

_Behréowsungtíd ne sy uppan ús níwe,_

_Angelcyning sy níwe innan swefecung."_

She blinked, struggling to understand where the words had come from. Freya frowned, then cried out weakly. Then she crumpled in to the water.

"Freya!" Morgana shouted, diving in the water. She reached around blindly, coming up empty handed.

"Merlin!" She screamed, and plunged back in, her hands meeting reeds and emptiness until finally, finally…

"Merlin!" She screamed. "I've got her! Merlin!" With the last of her strength, she dragged Freya's limp body back to shore, shivering uncontrollably. Merlin reached for the girl immediately, putting a coat around her as Morgana fell down to her knees on the banks, exhausted

"Morgana are you alright?" He asked her, not looking up. She lay on the shore, her hair clinging to her face. She couldn't even muster the energy to reach her clothes.

"So – tired," she managed to get out through her shivers.

"Don't go to sleep," Merlin said urgently. "Morgana, don't go to sleep, do you hear me?" Silence. "Morgana I can't leave Freya. Can you cough for me?" Morgana shuddered as she coughed weakly, the movement only increasing her shivers. "Good, that's good. There's a mars bar in your coat, remember? I want you to reach out for your coat, put it on and start chewing slowly on the mars bar, okay? The paramedics will be here shortly, and you are going to be fine, all right?" Merlin sounded so fierce that she did what he said, gritting her teeth against the ache in her bones. Everything was numb, her arms and legs and face were all chalky white.

Morgana didn't know what Merlin was doing, but she nearly sobbed in relief when she heard Freya cough up water, unable to muster the strength to sit up. Freya looked up in panic.

"Where am I? I don't know where I am!" Her breath was slow and sluggish, her words slurring as they left her lips.

"It's all right, Freya. Look at me, now, look at me. Can you move at all?" Freya tried to move her arm, and began to jerk and convulse, her shivers wracking her body. Merlin cried out in relief.

"She's shivering. Oh thank God, she's shivering. Now look at me again? Freya what did you have for breakfast this morning?"

"I – I…" her eyes wandered, never quite focusing on Merlin. He wrapped another coat around her, hugging her gently.

"Okay, just hang on Freya. The paramedics are nearly here." He reached out and took Morgana's hand.

"Why did you do that?" Merlin asked quietly, rubbing up and down her leg to try and make her warmer.

"What?" She breathed.

"You know what Morgana, God – dammit!" He took a deep breath before continuing. "The cold water could have made you seize up. It already looks like you have mild hypothermia yourself- why could you not wait?"

"Because I knew." Morgana muttered. "There was only one way Freya was going to come out. She asked a question and I answered it." Merlin looked concernedly at her.

"Morgana?"  
"I'm not delirious!" She tried to shout that last bit, but it hurt her throat and she whimpered a little. "I – I." She stopped. "I don't know," Morgana whispered, "I can't think. I'm so cold."

The paramedics, once they arrived, immediately wrapped Freya in a blanket and loaded her on to a stretcher, congratulating Merlin on his quick evaluation of the situation. They did offer Morgana a night in hospital – but she immediately refused. Merlin knew how much Morgana loathed hospitals, so backed her up in her insistence she was fine, making promises to look after her once she got home. The ambulance set them down at the door, before driving a now unconscious Freya to the hospital.

"Will she be okay?" Morgana murmured, leaning on to Merlin's shoulder. The shivering still wouldn't stop, though they had put all of Merlin's coats on her.

"She'll be fine," Merlin soothed, "Her case isn't severe. When I was a student, we saw cases of frostbite; extreme hypothermia; patients comatose from the cold – trust me on this, she'll be alright." They stood outside the door of the log cabin, snow beginning to fall once more. Morgana whispered.

"I can't. I'm too cold." Sighing, Merlin scooped Morgana up and carried her in, bridal style.

"Well this is romantic," she teased, "Carrying me through the threshold,"

"Mainly for the purpose of either of us getting through the threshold," Merlin muttered, but kept carrying her until he was able to lay her down on the bed. Gathering all the towels they could muster, he began to dry her hair gently, careful around her sensitive scalp. Together, they eased off first the coats and then her wet clothes underneath, Merlin rubbing warmth in to her aching joints and freezing limbs. She began to whimper as feeling came back in to her bones. It was agony, her skin tinged red with cold as she began to feel the hell her body had been through. He dressed her, pulling her pyjamas on, all the while trying to get her warm.

"We'll keep you in tomorrow," he murmured, kissing her hair. "God knows what you've caught diving in to that hellhole."

"It wasn't a hellhole," she said sleepily. "It was the opposite. Merlin it hurts."

"I shouldn't wonder," he laughed. "We should wait a couple of hours before getting you in to a bath." Her arms entwined themselves around him, her head resting on his shoulder.

"I'm so cold, Merlin," her teeth chattered. "I can't get warm. It's like that story, where that boy has a chip of ice in his heart." He kissed her gently, his hand on her cheek.

"Come to bed," she whispered.

"Morgana I really don't think that's a good…"

"No, not like that. I just think I would sleep better with you. You make me warmer."

"Alright."

"Do you remember that night? When you came to mine after Lizzie was born. I was so cold. I couldn't feel anything. You've always made me warmer, Merlin." He laid a hand against her forehead.

"Okay, I think you've got a temperature."

"Ahh," she moaned, the cold biting at her like an angry dog. "Merlin please." Merlin smiled, before taking off his clothes.

"I can't refuse you anything," he whispered, climbing in to bed and spooning her, inhaling the sweet scent of her hair – something like pinecones and acacia.

"I know," she murmured, snuggling further in to his arms.

The next day, predictably: Morgana had a fever, and was fretting and worrying about anything and everything. Shivering and complaining about the cold though her skin was on fire. The students of course knew everything by breakfast, when Miss Ueh was already telling them to shut up and eat their cereal.

"Do you think Freya's alright?" Sefa asked Kara, her brown eyes wide with fear, "Stanley said that she was in a coma, and that all her fingers had dropped off."

"Stanley is an oaf, and you know it," Kara said airily. "I asked Mr Ambrose and he said that she was just resting in hospital. Fancy Miss Lefay, plucking her from the waters though."

"I know," Sefa marveled. "And Mr Ambrose giving her the kiss of life. It's so romantic. Do you think Mr Ambrose and Freya will get together?" Kara smiled to herself.

"I wouldn't count on it."

"So she dived in to the water after her?" Gwen screeched. "What was Freya playing at? She could have got them both killed!" Morgana was finally asleep, after a morning of her trying to get up and wander out in to the snow in only her pyjamas; and Gwen and Merlin were taking a well earned rest, Gwen sneakily Irishing their coffees every few minutes. Merlin was finally able to relate the tale to his outraged friend.

"She wasn't herself," Merlin defended, "she was saying things that didn't make sense. Perhaps she was feverish, or hallucinating – I don't know. But she was even singing at one point." Gwen frowned, shaking her head.

"How long before Freya gets out of hospital?"

"A few days," Merlin confided. "She got it pretty bad. If you think Morgana's had it rough…"

"You weren't too shabby," Gwen commented slyly. "Resuscitated Freya. Stopped Freya and Morgana from slipping in to unconsciousness. You're quite the local hero." Merlin shrugged non-committedly.

"Perhaps."

"Why aren't you a doctor, Merlin?" She asked bluntly. "You love the work, you're amazing with people – what the fuck are you doing at a Secondary school?" Merlin groaned.

"Look, Freya is in hospital with moderate hypothermia, Morgana's got a temperature of forty degrees and keeps trying to go back to the lake – can we please just focus on the task at hand." Silence. Gwen took sip of coffee.

"My mum died when I was seven," she said absently. "In a car crash, taking my brother back from football. Her and his friend were killed. It wasn't nearly as traumatic as Morgana's experience, and he was quite a bit older – but Elyan was never able to _do _anything after that. He could never put his mind to anything save sport, and he and dad were always falling out. But he's always made it clear to me that we have to stay close – have to support each other. Can't stand it if I ever bring a guy over, just because he feels it gets in the way of our family.

"I wanted to be an artist," she confessed. "I had an apprenticeship with this guy, everyone at my university said I had potential – and then one day Elyan showed up. Told me I was getting up myself, that being an artist wouldn't make any money, and that we had to think as a family. He got me a job at the school he worked at. I had to move in with him. And I've never stopped wishing that I had just walked away – gone to London, met artists, had a _life._"

"Elyan needs help," Merlin murmured. "How did he react to you moving in with Morgana?" She laughed.

"How do you think? But I don't care. I stood up for myself, and I loved it." She lowered her voice. "I've only told Morgana this, but I'm resigning at the end of the year. I got a contract with this gallery after they saw that big canvas I did – you know, the one hanging on my wall?" Merlin hugged Gwen, lifting her up in to the air.

"That's – that's fantastic!" He exclaimed. "Oh Gwen –that's." Her grin split the sides of her face. "Don't forget us when you're rich and famous, eh?"

"Stop it," she laughed. Her face grew serious. "But the reason I brought it up is – whatever's tying you to Camelot High, Merlin, it can't be more important than doing what you love." Merlin sobered and nodded.

"Point taken. Thanks Gwen." The two hugged again, having reached an understanding.

"_Myrddin! Woda – gelácne mec!" _

"Morgana!" Merlin jumped a chair and ran to her side. "What do you mean?"

"What? Merlin I don't understand. What are they trying to say?" Morgana muttered, tossing and turning on her pillow.

"Still forty degrees," Merlin muttered. "We might have to dose her up with antibiotics and sleeping pills before we get her on the coach. Her and Freya both. Uther will _not_ be happy." Gwen squeezed Merlin's hand.

"Morgause is the one I'd worry about," she confided, and Merlin rolled his eyes – although he had not yet mastered the art of the Lefay Eye-roll.

"Reassuring, Gwen, really."

"Sorry."

"It wasn't your fault." Morgana murmured, drifting back in to sleep. "Never think that. You didn't have a choice. "

They got a doctor to visit, to prescribe her some antibiotics. He proclaimed that Morgana had pneumonia, and should never have been allowed to simply go home – but when Merlin explained their very strained circumstances, he relented a little, gave them some penicillin along with a long lecture, and went on his Welsh way. Morgana had remained semi-conscious for most of it, the fever having broken after a long spell of seemingly Old-English chanting (translate as screaming). Quite literally. Not that Merlin had actually _seen _anything, but the trees outside had begun to blossom, and he suspected that the four silver birches were now apple trees. A few days ago that would have sounded crazy, but now he was not so sure. There was something he was missing – in the corner of his eye. Almost tangible: But not quite.

Freya got discharged from hospital, although the nurses pursed their lips and looked very disapproving. She had been very lucky, they were informed, and was suffering from acute pneumonia. It was only Merlin's promise that they would refer her to a doctor in Donegal as soon as they got home that got her out. It was okay though. Him and Arthur had a plan.

"This is a fuck awful plan." Arthur grumbled, Freya in his arms. Both girls were so dosed up they couldn't have told you their own names, let alone walk to the coach. Miss Ueh of course had been told that both women were in fighting form and ready to travel, so was currently being expertly distracted by Gwen whilst Arthur and Merlin smuggled them on to the vehicle.

"Ready?" Gwen whispered. Kara, Sefa and Daegal nodded, steely determination in their eyes. "Right. Three, two, one…"

"Ow that hurt you bitch!" Sefa shrieked, pretending to fall back to the ground.

"May the Gods curse you to the fiery pits of Hades!" Kara yelled back. She liked to be dramatic.

"Get away from me you little _freaks_! Daegal shouted, gradually getting in to the mood of things until their fake punch up was in full swing.

"Will everyone calm down!" Gwen screamed. "Miss Ueh, would you please come and help me?"

All four had been quite keen to help at the start. They were less sure as the scariest woman in all of Ireland and possibly the EU came stalking towards them, her eyes cold with fury.

"She's taken the bait," Mordred, their trusted envoy whispered. "Go, go, go!" The two men hoisted their passengers up and climbed aboard the coach, the other year sevens too hyped up on sweets to notice much. Gwen had valiantly offered to switch places with Miss Ueh to avoid discovery, so that Arthur was sitting next to Freya, and Merlin was sitting next to Morgana.

"This is what happens when you go crazy diving in to lakes to save crazy women!" Merlin whispered, kissing her brow. She moaned a little in her sleep. She was still in a better state than Freya, who hadn't really woken up properly since her fever broke.

"Mission accomplished," Arthur hooted, punching the air in triumph.

"Shh," Merlin laughed. "Miss Ueh will…" At that very moment, Nym Ueh stormed on to the coach, dragging the trio by their ears on to the coach.

"If anyone else feels like fighting," she snapped, "simply look at these three. They will not be permitted to get off the coach at the terminals; they will be sitting behind the teachers on the coach and will be in detention for three weeks once they return from their Christmas holidays. Is that understood?"

"Yes Miss Ueh," the coach chorused, and all three kids looked more than a little dejected. Arthur leant over and whispered.

"Cheer up. We'll buy you something nice for Christmas."

"Yeah, you did great, kids. And Morgana and Freya will be very grateful once they regain consciousness," Merlin patted them on the back. "Expect a hell of a lot of chocolate when you get back.

"Is she alright?" Morgause fretted, taking a collapsing Morgana from Merlin.

"She's fine. She has pneumonia after mild hypothermia but…" Morgause punched his shoulder, hard.

"Idiot. What about Freya?" Merlin grinned ruefully, rubbing his shoulder.

"I need to take her to the hospital. She's in a far less stable condition, and she doesn't have any family in the city. If needed she can stay with me and Gaius, but I promised the hospital in Snowdonia that I'd take her to one here as soon as we got home." Morgause gave him an impassive look.

"You're a good man, Merlin," she said suddenly, and he gave a shy little shrug. That was high praise coming from Morgause.

"I do my best. Now, make sure she gets plenty of fluids and stays in the warm for another week at the very least. Her fever's broken, and she normally looks a bit more lively than this – but we had to dose her up to get her on the coach." His face grew mock serious as he joked, "If she dies she dies a hero."

"How so?" Morgause's voice was sharp. Now Merlin was actually serious.

"I mean it. Freya would have drowned or frozen if Morgana hadn't gone in. She saved her life." Morgause's expression softened, as she looked down at her baby sister, leaning on her shoulder.

"Thank you, Merlin. First you saved me and now you look after my sister. Our family owes you a debt."

"Alright, no need to get all Shakespearean on me. Just…just call me when she wakes up."

"Will do." Merlin watched as Morgause helped Morgana in to the car and drove off in to the bright city lights, Freya leaning on his arm. He looked down at her.

"Right, come on. Let's get you to hospital."

"_You failed me,"_

"_A minor setback, nothing more. You must understand…"_

"_All I understand is that nothing has changed!"_

"_Understand this, then. This Emrys has made different choices. He does not seek the Lady of the Lake. He has chosen Morgana?"_

"_Morgana? It is true that she was once the Emrys' lover, but it turned to hatred. No good came of their union. Does this look different?"_

"_It does indeed. They are well matched, it would seem in this life."_

"_This cannot be allowed. You know well the consequences of this."_

"_Well I do. What must be done?"_

"_You know what must be done. There is no other way…"_

Morgana woke up mumbling feverishly, repeating the words that had flashed across her eyes, no figure attached to them. She whimpered, tossing and turning as Morgause rushed in to the room, pressing a cool flannel against her aching forehead and once more spooning a sleeping tonic down her throat. She checked Morgana's temperature and sighed as she felt it burn up again, going back to her bedroom to retrieve her duvet and spend the night on Morgana's sofa. But as the medicine took its effect, and Morgana's eyes began to shut once more, the words replayed themselves in her head. _"There is no other way…"_

**Wow. This chapter basically wrote itself. I started out just with Freya in the lake, and then ended up branching out spectacularly. Oh well. Please click the review button – I love you all!**


	15. Chapter 15 (edited)

**Hello! I'm sorry about the long update date (especially to Merlinlovr and Timelord) but I've been on holiday for two weeks in places with no internet. But I'm going to echo TimelordinCamelot (hello!) when I say that school's going to start, I'm going to start my GCSEs and I'm really not going to be able to update both of my stories every week, unless my homework suffers seriously. Anyway, thanks for reading, and enjoy this chapter!**

A crack, a crack in the myriad of black she had been swimming in. White swam before her eyes, and for a moment she panicked, wondering whether she was in a padded cell – but then she saw a flicker of blonde in the corner of her eye, and all was well.

"Morgana?" The sound seemed to swell and fade, as if heard through a large bubble of water. Everything was heavy, her limbs hanging useless by her sides as her eyes flickered, and her head began to pound.

"Morgana? Can you hear me?" Suddenly her eyes were open, and she gently levered herself up with the assistance of her elbow, squinting around the room.

"Morgause?" She queried, her voice lost in the vast echoes of her water bubble. "What are you doing here? As the words left her lips, the bubble contracted in a heartbeat, and burst, leaving her blinking groggily as Morgause pressed a cool flannel against her forehead.

"You're back home," Morgause said gently. "You have been for about three days."

"There was…" she muttered, "Something important…Freya!" She sat up gasping, her breathing rapid. Yet her voice was almost unintelligible: Something closer to a hoarse whisper.

"Take it easy," Morgause soothed, pushing her gently back on to the pillow. "Freya's fine. She's been discharged from hospital, and Merlin's driving her up to Belfast on his way to bring his mother up." Morgana nodded, lying back and groaning at the ache of her muscles.

"Are you hungry?" Morgause asked concernedly. She came and sat beside Morgana, slipping an arm around her waist and pulling her in to a hug.

"Where's Lizzie?" She was so tired, everything seemed to slow down and swim before her eyes.

"Ken's back, he's with her at the moment. I'm going to cancel with Ken's parents for this weekend, you're not well."

"Don't cancel" Morgana spoke softly, partly out of guilt and partly out of the fact her throat felt like someone had shoved a sheet of sandpaper down it. "I feel so much better, and you need to get Lizzie out of the house if I'm so sick."

Morgause frowned.

"No, what if you…"

"I'm fine, honestly," Morgana smiled weakly. "I feel a lot better now. Go. Imagine how disappointed Mr and Mrs Redd will be if they miss seeing their granddaughter." Her sister laughed, placing a kiss on the top of her head.

"If you're sure you're feeling better." Morgana groaned, lying further back on her pillows.

"I'm fine, honestly, Freya was the one with severe hypothermia and she's already travelling down to Belfast. Now, leave this sanatorium, I insist. Although seeing as I'm sick," she batted her eyelashes at Morgause, "could you get me some biscuits?"

"I'll be back by the twenty-fourth, I promise. And I'll be calling you every night to check up. And if you feel yourself getting sicker, remember that Gaius is just around the corner,"

"Morgause,"

"In fact that's a good idea, I'll text Merlin and ask him to check up on you tomorrow, because you really don't look that…"

"Morgause please, I'll be fine. You've brought an entire fridge worth of food up here."

"Yeah, well," Morgause said briskly, "What if you couldn't get to the fridge? Now I've brought the kettle up, but be…"

"Jesus Morgause you're not my mother!" Morgana snapped. Almost as soon as the words escaped her lips, she clapped her hands over her mouth. The two stared at each other for a while, in shock at Morgana's words. How could she have said that?

"I see," Morgause said shakily. "Well I'll go then. Try to be awake at six tonight so you can answer the phone."

"Morgause I'm sorry…" Morgana began, but was cut off as Morgause fled the room. She heard the front door close gently, and the tears that had been welling at her eyes fell on to the pillow, hot and salty. Shit, shit – how could she have been such an idiot?

"Wait – First Aid Kit, Monsters and Men…" Freya looked slyly at Merlin, who was going bright red with embarrassment as they sped down the M1. "You're an Indie boy!" She crowed, near gasping with laughter.

"Hey, it's good music," Merlin defended, swerving to avoid the idiot who decided he could change lanes without indicating if he just went a bit faster.

"Well yeah, but most guys I know try to keep up an image. You know, Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin…" she waved her arms to indicate the chain of hardcore rock bands that former boyfriends seemed to have listened to. "I've never met a guy who will show a girl his Indie side the first time she takes a ride in his car." Her voice dropped a little, and her small hand came to brush against his. He gently eased his hand from under hers, bringing it back to the wheel.

"Sorry," Freya cringed, looking out of the window. Suddenly she felt very small and very stupid.

"Don't be sorry, Freya. It's just – Morgana – I really do love her, you know?"

"Yeah," Freya attempted a smile. "I mean, speaking as a counsellor, I'm probably just latching on after you helped saved my life and all." Forced laughter filled the car, the air dense with awkwardness. Freya was the first to break the tension.

"I think you need to turn off here."

"Well this is me," Freya murmured, and Merlin's jaw dropped as they drew up at a vast, mansion-like house: A large fountain positioned in the front garden.

"This – this is your house?" Merlin stuttered. Freya shrugged, uneasily.

"It's my stepdad's house. My mum and sisters live here now, but I've always hated it." A man came out of the house – big sort of bloke. He didn't look overjoyed to see them.

"Thank you so much for driving me up, Merlin." Freya said, her breath hitched. "I'll see you when we get back to school."

"Are you sure you're going to be okay?" Merlin asked, more than a little concerned." She turned to him, that forced smile that never seemed to be off her face now plastered on like bad make up.

"Sure, why wouldn't I be? Thanks Merlin, and thanks again for – well, saving me."

"Thank Morgana, not me." Merlin got out and handed her a suitcase. Then, all of a sudden, he pulled her in to a hug.

"Get better Freya," he instructed. "Take the antibiotics every day, and have a good time."

"I hope Morgana gets better," she whispered in reply, and picking up her suitcase, walked over to the large house. Frowning, Merlin waved Freya off, before getting back in the car and beginning the drive to Armagh.

Merlin ran up the steps of the 1960s flat, tripping in his excitement at seeing his mum. He glanced around. Every broken piece of bannister, every corner infested with damp, every graffitied wall – he hated it. He loathed it beyond all imagining. Because his mum was trapped up there: Like a princess at the top of a tower. And he was the only one who could rescue her. Merlin had been looking at houses ever since his first paycheck had got in, and he thought he'd found the perfect house. It was beautiful; the little cottage in the country that his mother had always dreamed of. And it would be hers. He knocked on the door, bouncing on the balls of his feet in anticipation. A tiny woman, probably in her early forties, sprung out and nearly knocked him on to the floor as she flung her arms around him.

"Merlin! Oh Merlin!" She held on to him tight, then stepped back to scrutinise him. "You're still too thin. What has Gaius been feeding you?"

"Mum…" Merlin groaned, and she ruffled his hair.

"Did you bring Morgana," she asked, looking over his shoulder as if Morgana might be hiding behind him. "Come on, Merlin. Let a mother meet her son's girlfriend. She sounds lovely."

"She's in bed with pneumonia at the moment," Merlin informed her, "In fact, her sister just texted me asking if I could look in on her tonight, so if you don't mind…"

"Of course!" Hunith cried; handing Merlin her suitcases and walking smartly down the stairs. "The poor girl – and she's in that house all by herself."

"Her sister had get her baby out of there – she's just two months, and hasn't got the greatest immune system: She wasn't supposed to be born until the beginning of December. For a while she looked like she wasn't going to make it." Merlin gasped under the weight of his mother's bags, but valiantly hurried after her.

"God Merlin, you've had an eventful four months, if you don't mind my saying. Who would have thought all this would have come from working at a school?" Merlin frowned, and was about to open his mouth to reply, but Hunith simply waved him off and began to ask him about Gaius's new flame: A fearsome woman whom he had met on his travels in Australia, and who had saved him from man-eating crocodiles…

Morgana was reading when she heard the knock at her door. Sighing, she slipped out of the warm cocoon of blankets she had wrapped around herself and stumbled shakily down their hall, holding on to the wall as she went. Expecting her sister, she opened the door with apologies on her lips, only to gasp in delight as she saw

"Merlin!" She made to hug him, but then grinned sheepishly. "Yeah, I probably should stay away from you right now. Don't want to spread the deadly virus." Merlin promptly ignored her last statement, sweeping her up in a gentle hug. As she pulled away, she saw a smiling, dark haired woman standing behind her long-absent boyfriend. Merlin laughed,

"Morgana, this is my mother. Mum, Morgana."

"It's a pleasure to meet you." Morgana said smiling, extending a hand, "Merlin has told me so much about you."

"Really? I've heard a lot about you too; you're all he talks about."

"Oh really?" Morgana smirked as she poked Merlin's ribs. Suddenly she doubled over and coughed miserably, the intensity of them wracking her body. "Sorry."

"Don't be," Hunith said with concern, "That sounds really quite nasty – I would get back to bed if I were you." Morgana smiled weakly.

"I think you're right. I did promise my sister I would rest." Grabbing on to Merlin's arm, she stumbled her way back to the bedroom; the walls and floors shifting as if she was on a ship.

"So, Merlin told me you're a midwife?" Morgana asked. Her aforementioned boyfriend was getting her food in the kitchen, and Hunith was perching on her bed, both clasping a gigantic mug of tea.

"Yup. I left school before my A-Levels, but I took them when Merlin was a little bigger, got my qualifications and got a pretty decent job at the local hospital."

"That's so cool," Morgana murmured, sitting up a little as she sipped her tea. "How did you manage it all?"

"There was this family living in our tower block, with a boy Merlin's age; and his mum was the loveliest woman I've ever met. She would look after Merlin when I went to my evening classes, and then I'd take care of Will during the day." She paused to drink some tea. "Wow, this is good." Morgana smiled.

"My half sister's dad's English, she grew up with him and expects a good cup of tea at least twice a day. And now she's got me hooked."

"Oh, so that's why she has a different accent," Merlin came in with three gigantic hunks of chocolate cake and his own mug.

"I love you," Morgana sighed, as she bit in to the feather-light cake. "Morgause is a much better cook than me, that's why I put up with her intense hygiene rules. So how come I haven't met Will?"

"He's living in Belfast now, working as a doctor." Merlin pulled a face. "He's not speaking to me at the moment because we were going to work at the hospital together, but I came to work at Camelot.

"What about you, Morgana?" Hunith asked, as she chewed at her cake. "What was life like for you when you were small?" Morgana smiled a little tensely.

"I used to live in Ashford with my parents, but we were always going back and forth to England, mainly to see Morgause. She'd come to us a lot too, I saw her quite a bit when we were little. It was only when my parents died that I stopped seeing her so much, like only every odd holiday. I grew up with my godfather and his son here in Donegal." Hunith placed a hand on hers.

"How awful for you, dear." Morgana smiled, genuinely this time.

"Oh I got through it. And I live with my sister at the moment, but I'm planning to move in with a friend, Gwen, sometime in the New Year. That is, if I can shake off this wretched bug." She coughed chestily, as if to prove her point. "I've half a mind to clout Freya one, I'll tell you that."

Morgause frowned, her finger resting on the dial key as she tried for the third time to get through to Morgana. Lizzie was with doting step-granny Meg at that moment, Ken's little half sister begging to be allowed to hold her. Morgause knew her fairly well – she was in one of her Year nine classes at Camelot – and gave her permission absent-mindedly. Why wasn't Morgana picking up? Surely she couldn't be angry at her still, and Merlin had texted not an hour and a half ago saying that he had left Morgana hale and hearty, and that she had promised to call Morgause at six. She dialled the number once more, and the phone seemed to ring for eternity until the answer machine flatly told her that the caller was not available. She stood.

"Meg, I'm so sorry but I think I'm going to go home and check on Morgana. She's not picking up her phone." Meg laughed.

"That's young people for you. She's probably watching TV or something, and can't even hear the phone." Morgause nodded distractedly, but reached for her jacket.

"Do you mind watching Elizabeth? I'll probably only be half an hour."

"By all means, my love, but…" She was cut off as Morgause left the room, walking as fast as she could without running to the car. Ken stopped her.

"Morgause? Where are you going?"

"Morgana's not picking up the phone, Ken, and I'm worried. I'm just going to go and check on her."

"Morgause…"

"Please, Ken. I know I won't rest until I know there's some stupid explanation for it." He sighed and released her, and she ran in to the car, closing the door and swerving out of the driveway, the tyres squealing as she drove off in to the night.

It seemed that with each road she turned down, her heart seemed to beat faster. There was a feeling deep in the pit of her stomach that something wasn't right, that Morgana would _never _forget to call her if she knew she was worried. At last, she pulled in to their street and ran up the stairs of their flat. Her lungs hurt and her throat was sore but she kept running, up until she reached their flat. With shaking hands she unlocked the door, and was met with darkness. Fumbling for the light, she called out,

"Morgana?" Silence. After what seemed like an age, she found the switch and her hallway was flooded with light. Still the silence filled the room like tear gas, and she walked fearfully in to Morgana's bedroom.

"Morgana can you hear me?" She opened the door – and laughed in relief. Morgana was asleep, the phone by her bedside table.

"Sweetie, wake up, you were supposed to…" Her words died on her lips. Morgana's eyes were tightly closed, but her breathing was harsh and rapid, as if someone was choking her. Her face – it was almost chalky white, but mottled. Her lips were blue. For a while Morgause just stared at her, her heart racing so fast it felt like it would jump out her chest at any moment. Finally she grabbed Morgana by the shoulders and began shaking her.

"Morgana, wake up! Wake up now. Morgana please, please wake up." Her face was wet, was she crying? Or was she moving – no, that was Morgana. She was shivering, shaking and then suddenly Morgana began to twist and convulse, her body desperately trying to find a position in which it could breathe normally. Morgause reached for the phone, her fingers stumbling as she dialled the number. It rung in to the room, oddly metallic against Morgana's wheezing and Morgause's own beating heart. Finally – finally a voice came.

"Morgana? Are you all right?"

"Merlin it's Morgana. I don't think she can breathe, her face is nearly blue and she's started to convulse and I don't know what to do."

"Wait, Morgause, slow down. Why are you phoning me?"

"Because you're normally around to deal with situations like these!" She screamed.

"Okay, Morgause calm down, yeah? Ring an ambulance, and then ring me back, alright?"

"Yes, yes okay." Morgause hung up and dialled 999 once more, hurriedly explaining the situation and giving her address. Finally she rang Merlin back.

"I've done it, the paramedics are coming." She began to sob weakly, "I don't know what to do; I don't know what to do."

"It's alright, Morgause. Have you turned her on her side?"

"No, I'll – I'll do it now." She laid the phone down on the bed and gently rolled her sister over. Suddenly Morgana began to cough, at first weakly and then more ferociously until finally she began to retch. Morgause bit back a scream. Giant clots of blood, great chunks of the stuff – as Morgana moaned and heaved more spilled out of her mouth. She thought it wouldn't stop, every time there was a moment's respite more would come until finally Morgana gave a great shudder, and was still. Morgause held the receiver, trembling violently.

"Merlin, she's vomited up blood. Not just a tiny bit, but clots. Have I – did I do something." When Merlin spoke, his voice was thick and shaking.

"Morgause, if you hadn't rolled her on her side she would have choked to death on it. Has – has her breathing got better." She looked over at Morgana.

"Yes, a little perhaps. Merlin – what's happening to her?"

"I – I can't say. I don't know, Morgause, but it sounds like her lungs are failing."

"Her lungs?"

"Just keep talking to me, Morgause. Is her face blue?"

"No – she's just this awful grey…"

"Morgause, I can hear sirens on the other end. Are the paramedics there?" She ran to the window.

"Yes, yes they're here."

"Right, I'm driving down to the hospital now, so I'm going to hang up. Where are Ken and Lizzie?"

"At, at his parents'."

"Phone him and tell him what happened. Then go in the ambulance with Morgana. Yes?"

"Yes. Yes, okay." She hung up, and she placed a hand on Morgana's hair, her tears falling on to her sister's face.

"Oh Morgana. Morgana please come back. Please, my darling. Not you. Not you too."


End file.
